Silence has never been my favorite thing. I usually associate silence with impending doom, awkwardness, being unproductive, or just plain boredom. Because of this I like mindless chatter and background or blaring music. Today I read this.
I almost didn't read it. I wasn't in a churchy mood. (Probably because my brain is on overload with all the music blaring) But as soon as I read the first of 10 ways to recognize God's power in times of trouble, I was all in. She begins by breaking down all of the words that are associated with the word still. (Psalms 46:10) "Be still and know that I am God."
Still: free from noise or turbulence; untroubled
When we are free from outside noise or turbulence, we are able to hear the still small voice of God's Spirit as he comes to comfort and guide us through our trials. Some of the noise we experience that could be blocking our ability to feel God’s presence is our own worry. When we learn to change our thoughts from negative to positive, we are more able to feel God’s love because we are in harmony with him. The noise and turbulence is replaced by a sweet melody of peace.I had a minute of crazy last week. We are just finishing up the process of building our home and there was a hiccup along the way. Everything has gone so smoothly throughout this whole process that when we hit that speed bump, my panic went sailing and landed in a huge pile of worry. My initial reaction was loud, sometimes coming out in words of blame and anger. I knew I was acting irrational. You know when your vacuuming and your going along, la dee dah, and you think you hear something? So you shut off the vacuum and listen. Nothing. Rev it up again, only to think you heard something again, and once you shut it off again you realize your phone was ringing? Yeah, I had that. Only it wasn't the vacuum, it was my worry. And it wasn't the phone, it was the Spirit. I felt as if I kept feeling like someone was there trying to tell me to have faith. And I heard it. Sort of. I knelt on my knees and tried to pray. It turned into more of a crazy persons rocking in the corner, but I was making an effort.
So, when I read this article today, I realized I was creating so much noise, blocking my ability to feel God's presence, or to hear the Spirit whisper what I was trying so desperately to hear.
I have this habit. I used to call it my nature. But I realize it's only a habit, and I have the ability to change it. This habit is that I am loud. I am reactive, quick to anger, and I use sarcasm. These habits have trickled down to my children. I often throw my hands into the air in exasperation when confronted with a loud, reactive, sarcastic child. I have a dear friend who pointed out to me that it was time I made some changes. Oh yeah, also I am SUPER inconsistent. She has been teaching me how to make small changes that have made gigantic results. Then she sent me this. What? I haven't even scratched the surface of this lady's calm parenting tactics. But just listening to the 9 minute intro helped me realize that it is NOT my nature. It is merely a habit, and lack of intellect and practice.
So silence. I still don't love it. An empty house with no noise stresses me out. but there is a difference between silence and stillness. There have to be moments and chapters of stillness in order for us to be able to hear the small voice trying to inspire and direct us.
