Silence is golden

I woke up this morning and my voice was no where to be found.  It’s nearing 9 am and I am quickly realizing the advantages to this little cold.  First, only the child who had to go to school arose early and since I couldn’t talk he followed suit and whispered himself.  In turn, the two little ones slept until 15 minutes ago when I nearly dragged them from their slumber.  They also have taken to whispering.  Whisper through breakfast, whisper to each other.   My house seems very….   reverent.  I may milk this one….

Climb every mountain

It’s been uphill.   And downhill.  We’ve gone around the hill and sometimes barreling through it.  At least my marriage has.  But here’s what I have learned so far.  As you are climbing this mountain together, stumbling and falling, helping each other up, and sometimes tripping the other with vengeance,  it is crucial to remember to stop and look around you.   Look how far you have come.  See the beauty from above and just breathe it in. 

You can’t climb mount Everest without first climbing much smaller feats.  There are days when we feel as though we did it.  We reached the top and it feels glorious!  We stop and look around us, clinging to each other in awe that we made it.  Only to turn around and see yet a larger mountain we must defeat. 

In answer to many prayers at a trial some time in my life I was given the answer that we as a couple needed to experience this in order to be prepared for what is to come.  Not all of us may need to climb mount Everest, but we sure need to be prepared to do so.

Cavemen

Mom?  Were you born in the 1900’s? 

Yup. 

Whoa.

Sheesh, he made it sound like I’m ancient!  Just in time to turn 30 I guess.

Exhaustion

Truly you know your children are tired when you are 3 for 3 in each of them climbing into bed on their own without a sound. And when 3 children are that tired, their mother is bound to be.

You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.

When I was a kid I remember my dad always walking over to a corner wall and scratching his back on it.  He loved a good back scratch.   There is nothing worse than the feeling of the itch beginning in the middle of your back juuuust out of reach, and the scramble to find something or someone to scratch it for you.  Ahhhh, then the feeling of relief as they hit the spot.  

Jayce loves a good back scratch.  Lainy thinks she does, but every time you begin, her body starts to wiggle and she can’t stop the giggling.  Too ticklish.  I love a good palm scratch.   Something about the palm of my hand being scratched just relaxes me.  

Jared, being 3 has just learned the value of laying over moms lap and asking, “Can you scrape my back?”

***An hour after I posted this I came into the kitchen and Lainy had her shirt off and was frantically scratching her back on the edge of the kitchen table, telling me her back itched so bad!

Phew. I mean… Boo!

I swore this was the year I was living Halloween simply. 

And I did.  

Until 2 days before Halloween. I’m not sure what happened. I went into sew mode somehow.  Decided against the simple ghost idea and created a complete Avatar costume, the fluff to Lainy’s ladybug, and lost my fire when I got to Jared, gained control and went back to simple and dug out the ol’ cookie monster costume.  Phew. I am glad it’s over. 

We trick or treated one house and that was Gramma Jet.

Thank you Georgette! We love you! 

Then it was off to trunk or treat!

I did get a chance to gussy up a lady in our ward who wanted to go ‘Harley’. 

Jayce was such a sport to let me shave his head for the evening.  He did panic a bit when the realization set in that he had to attend school and church this way. 

Lainy and Tessa both came as bugs, which is fitting.  Those two are always buzzing around together.

It’s faces like this that make it all worth it. 

No Disco ball for the gophers!

I

found

my

RING!

Actually Jason found it tonight in his pajama pants pocket.  We have looked everywhere including my entire acre with a stinkin metal detector.  It’s like having an old friend back.  

Sigh. 

Life is good.

She doesn’t.

My sweet friend asked me last week how I did it.   Keep my house clean (ha ha), raise my kids, support a husband in school, and work 20-30 hours a week.   The truth is…  I don’t.  I can’t do it all.  Especially not at the same time.  My days are like taking a handful of balls and throw them all up in the air at the same time and then trying to catch them.  Sometimes you catch one, and all the others fall.  Once in a blue moon, you catch the majority of them and feel pretty good about yourself.  Today I caught one ball.  Two women walked out of the salon with their hair looking better than when they walked in.  It’s something right? 

• I dropped the parenting ball when my kids dumped all the macadamia nuts in the boys room, stripped all bedding off beds so they had a better jumping arena, dumped water all over the couch and jumped on it, played mermaids in the bathroom and made a real ‘ocean’, finally one fell asleep on my bed, and then peed on it. 
• I dropped the wife ball when I didn’t call my husband all day because I didn’t have the energy to support him and tell him to study hard, because I knew I just wanted to tell him to come home. 
• I dropped the cooking ball when I fed my kids coco puffs for breakfast, cheerios for lunch and Mac and cheese for dinner. 
• And well,  the clean ball was never even reached for. 

I know I know,   Wo is me.

Diamond in the rough

Jason and I was discussing my recently lost wedding ring while lazily laying in bed this morning and it went a little something like this…

“I really do love my new wedding ring,  I have had a lot of compliments on it” I say. 

He acknowledges my comment with an mmm hmm.  

Then, still being a little tired I say, “I wish had I had some sort of super power that I could feel or hear if it were nearby…”

Smiling now he  says,  “yeah I can just hear it’s little screams now.”

I am into it now,  “help me! help me you idiots I am right here!”

Jason says…  (sorry still laughing at this…)  “Yeah, it’s probably outside in the dirt and some gopher is using it as it’s disco ball.” 

I must still be so tired.

Laughter

Best compliment I’ve had in a while…

Jayce:  Mom, you laugh a lot don’t you?

Life’s too short not to!

Tree of Thanks

Last Thanksgiving I cut out a tree from cardboard and a handful of leaves and for family night we sat and wrote each thing we were thankful for on the leaves and it stayed up for a few weeks.   This year I found this tree at Michaels and bought a leaf punch and put it up when Autumn began.   I wanted to remember to be thankful a lot longer than just one night.  So, I hung a bag of leaves and a marker next to the tree and welcome anyone who enters my home to fill a leaf on my tree with what they are grateful for.  This was the first day we hung it, and it has slowly been riddled with words of thanks by many.  I hope to have a beautiful fall tree by Thanksgiving Day!

Small and Simple thing #1

Marjorie Pay Hinckley said:

Life is full of challenges.  Many of them involve balance and temperance.  Complete abstention may be easier than moderation.  It’s easier for me to completely abstain from smoking than to try and balance my day- a little for this, a little for that, a little for him, a little for her. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson expresses a majestic thought when he said: “It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

I have been struggling with balance in my life.  Trying to decide what I should try and balance in, or if I should completely abstain from it.  It was a few days ago that a little 5x5 inch purple book on my bookshelf seemed to call to me.  Sister Hinckley's book entitled ‘Small and Simple Things’.   In it I found this thought.  I read it and reread it and have repeated it to myself over the course of the last couple of days and each time it becomes more clear to me what a simple practice it is, and yet so difficult for me. 

San Francisco

Thank you to the Hambly’s for letting me bombard them for a day and being such great friends.   I love you guys.

I wish I didn’t live so far away from my dear friend! 

And I’m sorry, is she not just to die for?  I had the day to spend with these two ladies, and a part of the day to share with the boys of the fam, who are equally as wonderful!  (but not as photographed apparently!) 

Thank you to my parents for feeding me, housing me, and allowing me to tag along.  I love you guys.  

YES. That is the golden gate bridge.  I went over it.  Twice!  It was pretty cool. 

Ok, and the reason for this trip in the first place was to attend Jess and Tami’s Engagement party and I didn’t even bring my camera to it!  Sheesh. 

So, it was beautiful and filled with ALOT of aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.  They were all so kind and gracious.   Jess and Tami looked stunning-

(like Arabian Princess Barbie and Ken.  Seriously.) 

Ok, but without all the fluff.   Great company, great food, and glad to be home!

At the cracking of dawn

I put the kids to bed early last night.  Jayce was up at the crack of dawn at 5:30.   He came flying in holding a plate of goodies that the Phantom Ghost had left on our porch last night! (Thank you!)  I of course told him to go away and let me sleep.  It was when I finally (at 6:45) woke and found my kitchen in a bit of a mess that I realized the potential of my sweet children.  Jared had changed his own clothes (into another pair of jammies, but still) Jayce had gotten dressed, made a valiant attempt at making pancakes (with flour) and all were coloring at the table very quietly together.  Well, truthfully Jayce was coloring while the other two begged to help him.  I actually had a glimmer of hope that someday Jayce might be able fill the role of babysitter.   My dreams came crashing down when he came over and told me his pants felt weird and kept slipping down in the back.  

Jayce.  Your jeans are on backwards.

Very positive negative

 Conversation between Jayce and Wyatt:

Jayce:  My mom is going away this weekend with my dad.  She’s going there to get pregnant. 

Jayce and I had a little chat a week or so ago about babies.  I am guessing he has thought about it a bit since then.   We had another little chat tonight about mom not being pregnant and how it all happens.  (In case anyone is confused…  No, I am not pregnant, not planning to, not hoping to be.)

Morning recap

You know when you were younger and your alarm went off in the morning and you sleepily think of the reasons to stay in bed?  Then your brain goes through the previous days events and if something great happened that day (i.e. a kiss, a new job, chocolate muffins) it gets you out of bed and puts a hop in your step?  Well, this morning I did that for the first time in a long time.  And I wanted to remember my list.

1. New wedding ring on my finger (I lost mine grrr)
2. Got a new outfit for Jess’s engagement party
3. I’m going to San Francisco by myself for a whole weekend!
4. No heartburn! 

And the thought that gave me the most joy…

All of my children slept through the night.   No pee, no asthma, no coughing, no nightmares.  Sigh.  This HAS to be a good day! 

(And it’s only going to be 90 degrees!!! I love anything that isn’t triple digits.)

Stupid in love

Several years ago Jason and I were traveling together pre-children and saw a wonderfully memorable man on a street corner waving an advertisement poster.  He was enthusiastically dancing to his music, wore cut of jean shorts a tank top and had stringy long blonde hair under a backwards facing hat.   Jason mentioned how stupid he was.  I on the other hand, got caught up in his sheer enjoyment, leaned across Jason and out the drivers side window with flailing arms, and gave him a big ‘woo hoo!’   The dancing man responded appropriately with  ‘hang loose’.   And then Jason muttered words that became a staple in our ability to make one another laugh.  “You’re stupid too.”    If you spend enough time with us, you might catch us lovingly exchange these words. 

Duly noted

 

These black plate holders were supposed to be returned when they didn’t quite fit what I needed them for…   Except they kept disappearing.   

They seem to fit very well in the boys holsters.   As you can tell, they don’t stray far from their owners. 

Earlier I found this pop tart with a hole clean through.  I wonder if the 2 are connected somehow…

It begins and ends at home

While reading a fellow bloggers’ recent posting I had that deep set heavy feeling in my chest that I needed to get out on paper. As a parent I have learned the hard way (is there any other way to learn?!) to change a child's inappropriate, negative, or bad behavior. I will openly admit I was a yeller. And I tended to focus on the negative. I still have my moments, but have learned the damaging affects it has on a child. I have seen in 2 years time, my child change from a sad, angry, and frustrated child 80% of the time, to a happy, pleasant, loving child %90 of the time. And though it has now become the norm and the days fly by without much notice, there are moments when he cracks a joke or quietly ruffles his sisters hair with a smile, that my heart is filled with joy and such gratitude.

“To change child's behavior...HUGS, KISSES, COMPLIMENTS: make them feel good about the RIGHT behavior. Give extra attention, slow down, play with them.” (Thank you again Rach- you are on a roll this week!)

AMEN. It changed my life and his.

his lashes

He was nearly asleep.  He had both hands up at his face and was gently pulling on his eyelashes.   Jared of course, woke up as soon as the car stopped and ran inside.  It reminded me of Jayce when he was a baby.  I would rock him to sleep and he had the longest eyelashes, and they were often a little awry, so as he fell into sleep I would softly pull on them to straighten them out.   It became a nightly ritual and as he got older I found that whenever he went to bed or was sleepy his hands would go to his eyelashes and just pull lightly on them.   They mimic even in their sleep.

Jared made it to age 3. Barely.

Jared is 3.  I must admit as I sit here preparing my thoughts on this little boy, I heaved a huge sigh.   It’s been quite a messy year…  

• Nail polish
• cut Lainy’s hair and his
• baby powder
• desitin
• toothpaste and water ‘soup’
• lip gloss
• baby shampoo
• mud
• vegetable oil
• any and all food imaginable
• very expensive allergy drops
• stung by a scorpion
• my toothbrush on the dogs butt

And the list goes on.   But if I put all of these things somehow on a scale and balanced them against the amount of joy and love I have received from having him in my life, there is no contest.  He is worth every second.  Happy Birthday Jared.  I love you.

A ton of crap

Our home teachers came by today and we were discussing the topic of women and how many of us feel such inadequacy and often compare ourselves to other women and mothers and how we often think the grass is greener on the other side.   My friend Rachel (who’s blog is now private so no link sorry!)  posted an amazing quote on that subject a while back and it has stuck with me.

The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.  -Robert Fulghum

Steve Mullenaux one of my home teachers posed a question this afternoon,

“Do you know why the grass is always greener on the other side?”  

His answer held more truth than I was ready for.  

“Because there is a whole lot of crap over there to fertilize it with.”       

Building stability

If you’ve ever bought a tract home you know that the most exciting part (for me) is picking out your colors and features.  How excited I was that I could pick out my very own house!   First, how big?  Ok, there are only 6 floor plans to choose from, but still I get to pick! And picking the colors!  Of course, I had to stay within the parameters of their color scheme.  So, ok, I could pick from 2 greens, cream, tan, and brown.  But still I was picking my own colors!  And then to pick out my upgrades!   Here is the small list of what you are allowed.  It was glorious.  Or was it?  

I kind of have that same feeling about the nation these days.  I feel as if we are being told,  “Here are your freedoms.  You can say whatever you want… as long as it is on this list.  You can think and feel as you please, but you must stay within these few topics and ideals. Freedom to bear arms….   wait, scratch that- we’re taking that from you.  Freedom of religion, but only in a way that won’t infringe on, or hurt the feelings of another, maybe we should take that too.   Congratulations on your new found freedoms.”

I am aware of the negativity in this post, I am so tired of feeling like our America we know and love and are so blessed to be a part of, is being transformed and crumbling before our very eyes. 

4 years ago we began the plans for our current home.  No rules or exceptions unless it was for the safety and stability of the structure,  we drew it, redrew it, until it was what we wanted.   We painted it, and I wanted a different color so we re-painted it!   It took a while, it was frustrating, it was hard work and no it isn’t perfect.  But it was ours.   And this is how I feel about America.  The harder we work, the more we put into it, the better it will be.  Perfect?   Not by a long shot.  But worth it.  

Little boy stink

Remember this?  My baby is no longer so much a baby at nearly 3, and no longer has that piney fresh smell.  He has graduated into the stinky little boy phase.  I noticed it this morning as I begged for a snuggle and then snuggled him right to the bathtub.   Sniffff….  aaaah.   Lavender. (high on my favorite smells list- J&J lavender shampoo).  And a few short hours later as I crawled in bed next to him to wake him from his slumber…   the lavender was gone.  In it’s place…   stinky little boy.  Can I borrow someone’s baby? 

Domino affect

Days like today make me grateful for the hum drum run of the mill daily on goings.  (Minus the amazing Pedi and plate of brownies)

Driving and picking up 8 different shifts in 100 degrees made for a necessary few changes of clothing.  Shelley came and gave me a Pedi, (highlight of my day thank you!)  The other Shelli brought me a plate of brownies.  I am sure they were delicious,  my kids devoured all but 4 which I stashed on the counter for Jason I at a later time.   Instead, I forgot to lock up the stupid cat and she enjoyed them.  Lainy wanted her nails painted like mine so we did.  Jared later decided he wanted some painting done as well, but without help.  Everywhere.  White cabinets, knees, feet, hands, shirt.  I found that mess while I was making some semblance of a meal out of my most favorite whipping cream biscuits and a new chicken fingers recipe that looked and smelled divine.   Here’s how that went down…   As I opened a brand new gallon of apple juice, Lainy spilled water.  She grabbed a towel off the counter that was holding the plate of freshly baked biscuits.  I tried to catch (and miss) the plate and the apple juice went flying.  All over me.  By the time I returned from taking a sanity break, the chicken was ruined.  Sigh.  At least we had leftover pizza from last night to eat.

Dear friends

How often does a friend come along that you can preceed the term friend with "dear" or "best"? Not often for me. I think they are scarce so that we don't become lax and take them for granted. Truly it is a gift to have a dear or a best friend, and one does not have more than a handful in a lifetime. Whatever the case, I am grateful for those on my small list of dearest friends. These are women who I have leaned upon, or have leaned upon me, since that is what a friendship essentially means. You fill gaps when you are needed, and get your own gaps or in some cases, gaping holes filled by thier love and compassion. You cry with and cry for them. You laugh at, get laughed at, and laugh together. All of these friendships have seen and overcome trials, heartache, or sorrow. It is through this that the friendships are solidified. I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who is mindful of us always and uses his children to steady, uplift, and strengthen one another.

Losing it… finally

As a second grader, this kid has been waiting for years to lose a tooth.  He has stubborn teeth, and the only reason this one got knocked loose, was while opening opening a gel bottle with his teeth it slipped! 

A week or so later, Jason gave it a good yank and out it came.  Jayce quickly asked…   “Mom, do you have anybody coming over tonight?”  Nope.  “any clients or anything??”   I should have led him to a rooftop, he needed to do some shouting.  He made sure to smile as largely as possible to draw attention and possibly an inquiry of his newly spaced teeth. 

A little dinner conversation

Lainy:  We used to live in Aprica.

Mom: No lainy, California.  And it’s Africa.

Jayce: No, you used to live in that little corner state.  You know, the one on our map with an apple on it.

Mom: That’s Washington and only dad lived there.   They have really good apples there. 

Lainy: We’re going to move to Africa. 

Mom: No Lainy, we’re not.  You know the people who have very dark brown skin?  A lot of them are from Africa.

Jayce: No fair- they get the best apples there. 

Let’s begin again…

No vacancy… please no more vacancy

Make new friends, but keep the old

One is silver and the other is….

Gold.

Jason brought home a kitten last Sunday from a family out here and we just love her.  Growing up Jason’s family called Indian fry bread, ‘flapjacks’  which is where we got the name of our dog (who looks much better shaved).  And we thought we would follow suit with the cat.  We eat chili with flapjacks so we named her chili.

Of course the kids love her and don’t set her down unless specifically told to do so.   Lainy said the opening prayer in primary today and I was told it went something like this:

Dear Heavenly Father,  thank for my family, (etc)  please help us to be kind, and love each other…  (pause) and please bless the cat.  And please bless that if she jumps over the fence we will be able to get her back. In the name if Jesus Christ Amen.

Again.

I might as well just teach my children to cut hair since I can’t seem to keep them from doing it. 

See how happy I am to be cutting off her beautiful blonde hair?

One year older and wiser too.

Jayce turned 7 this month.  Yes, weeks ago.  Hey, I didn’t forget about it altogether.   My sweet smiling freckly faced boy.  He asked me once recently why I still called him my baby sometimes.  The book Love you Forever hits the nail on the head. (Minus the weird carrying a grown man and rocking him part)  I cry each time I read it. 

Jayce has tried my patience, my temper, and more of my patience, but he is becoming a helpful little man. As soon as he turned 7, he announced he was going to be 8 soon.  He can’t wait to be baptized. Such a happy sweet boy. If he isn’t smiling it’s because he is hungry, sleeping, or got hurt. 

I love you Jayce.

Girls camp 2009

• 5,000 sq ft cabin
• jet tub fits 4
• basement full of pool table, air hockey, darts etc…
• pushing Janette’s hybrid up hill.  Twice.
• Portrait puppet mimicking me. Thank you Haley.
• Orajel on everyone's water bottle tops. Very funny.
• Got in trouble for orajel stunt. Still very funny.
• Skipped refilling Oreos with toothpaste. Not risking trouble.
• Canoes.  Bumper cars with canoes.  So many girls (and leaders) wet.
• Zip lining through trees. Awesome.
• Archery
• Hiking
• building bridge out of log and rope.  It broke.  Rebuilt.
• Teamwork
• Teamwork
• Teamwork
• Raising banner of virtue
• Testimony meeting.  Lives changed. 

Up and down in Barnes & Noble

• Jayce age 7
• Lainy age 4
• Jared age 2

As we head through Barnes and Noble and proceed to the escalator, all 3 of my children take a step back and I hear exclamations of  “What is that?  Wow, how do you get on it!?”  and “No, No No, I don’t want to!”  Am I that bad of a mother that my kids haven’t been on an escalator?  Jayce quickly remembered his escalator feet, but I had to carry Jared and give Lainy a good shove.  

They had to use the bathroom once we got up there and since it was quiet and no one else was in the women’s bathroom I made Jayce come in with us.  I was helping Jared or Lainy in one of the stalls and I hear Jayce exclaim, “Mom! Mom!  I need a quarter! Can I have a quarter please??”   Jayce you don’t want one of those honey.   Trust me.

A Stand-up Kind of Guy

By Joseph Walker

Dad was, by nature, a “stand up” guy.

Whenever a card game got intense, he’d stand up to make his play. Whenever he watched me play basketball or football he never sat in the stands with the other parents; he always stood by the side of the bleachers—usually alone. Whenever I came home late from a date, I’d sit on the couch and he’d stand in front of me to lecture—usually with a little pacing thrown in for good measure.

That’s just the kind of a guy he was. Forthright. Direct. You know—stand up.

One Fourth of July we were on the front row for our town’s annual Independence Day Parade. Dad had gone down to Main Street early to set our folding chairs along the curb, so we had a great spot from which to watch the floats and bands and beauty queens pass by. We had just settled into our seats when a snare drum cadence signaled the start of the parade.

To our right, four men in ill-fitting World War II uniforms marched down the middle of Main Street, carrying the red, white, and blue of the United States of America. Their eyes were fixed forward and they marched with clear direction and purpose, apparently unaware that their tummies were hanging ponderously over their government-issue belts.

But we were aware. To tell the truth, it was hard to miss. Some of the folks were chuckling and chatting about the veterans, who were so clearly past their prime. A couple of teenagers in the back shouted out jeers and taunts—this was, after all, the Vietnam War era, and such disrespect for the flag and for those who fought under it was common. Patriotism was unpopular, and in some settings even risky.

I don’t know exactly when my father stood up and took his hat from his head and placed it over his heart. He did it quietly, almost unobtrusively. But Dad wasn’t a small man, and it didn’t take long for the rowdies in the back to notice.

“Down in front!” one of them shouted.

“Yeah,” another chimed in. “Down in front!”

Suddenly I realized they were yelling at my father, who continued to stand at attention, his eyes riveted on the stars and stripes. Nervously, I looked at Dad, willing him with all my heart and soul to sit down and not draw any more attention to himself—and to me, who wouldn’t stand a chance against any of those high school boys.

“Hey, Mr. Hawk,” came another shout. “Find a place to perch!”

I had no idea why they called Dad “Mr. Hawk.” I didn’t know anything about the hawk-dove designations that were being used all around the country to characterize pro-war and anti-war sentiments. I just knew my father’s propensity for standing was attracting some undesirable attention, and I was feeling embarrassed—and a little threatened.

But then an interesting thing happened. Another man about Dad’s age stood up a few feet away. He looked at the boys, then turned and faced the flag and put his hand over his heart. Then a woman to Dad’s right did the same thing, and she tugged her husband to stand up with her. Then another couple, then an elderly woman, then an entire family right in front of the rowdies. Before the color guard had passed, the entire section of parade-goers—with the exception of a few high school boys—was standing at attention with their hands over their hearts.

Not a word was spoken, but a message was sent to those teenagers—and to me. Patriotism isn’t just something you feel. Sometimes, it’s something you do.

Whether or not you are, by nature, a stand up guy.

I love the 4th of July.  It is officially my favorite holiday, aside from the obvious importance of religious holidays.  This one isn’t surrounded by the flurry of gift buying/giving, there isn’t a huge build up of anticipation and preparation.  And yet, there is just a buzz about it.  It’s what a celebration of something important to us should be.  A tribute without the sometimes selfish traditions attached.  I love this country.  I am truly grateful to have been born and live in it.  I don’t think words exist to express my gratitude to those who have given their time, dedication, and in many cases lives so I can live in freedom.  Thank you.

Firestarter? I hope not.

This does not get better with age

I loved this feeling as kid.   Rolling wildly down a grassy slope. 

Does not feel the same as an adult.  It’s more like someone shoved you down a slope and you throw up at the end.

Positive Point #1

How will I ever teach my kids all the things they need to learn to be successful adults. I feel so guilty working so often and letting them raise each other on some days.

Since I have so many women in and out of my chair, I get to hear various stories and outlooks on life. There are times I feel as though I just left a therapy session as the therapist, and some days as the patient. Today’s session helped me realize I needed to look on the sunny side of what my life has become.

I am grateful to be home with the kids and working in my home. Independence is a characteristic each of my kids have learned just naturally. Sure one is more shy than another, or bossier, or more creative, but they each take initiative to take care of each other, and for that I am grateful.

Right now they have a notebook paper with some crudely drawn lines and a bag of tortilla chips and are playing a version of “Don’t Eat Pete”.

It’s been a day

I really need to take a picture before I leave on one of my grocery excursions.  I had to laugh at myself as I gathered all of my things…  8 cloth grocery bags tucked under one arm (we all have to do our part!), folder of coupons in one hand, purse slung over shoulder and hauling cooler full of ice behind me.  Two hours and 4 stores later (hence the cooler)  I spent $45 and saved $130.  Very cool. 

I have to say if anyone fought me on the “I have the best husband” battle, I would win today.  I came home to him sweeping the house (with a huge garage broom I might add, I had to laugh)  and then mopping the entire house.   We have no carpet.  He cleaned every bit of flooring including the bathrooms! He even found time to get a few loads of laundry done.  I had a client for a few hours and came out to him making dinner! 

I couldn’t decide if he had something bad to tell me or I just owed him.  I got flowers this week my dishwasher was unloaded a few times, the garage cleaned out, found him reading scriptures with the kids when I got home from mutual and then a day like today!?  I should get mad and throw my phone at him more often… 

Young chef

Trying to expand our horizons and Jayce went to a 3 day Young chef’s academy camp.   The cuisine for that week was Italian.  YUM!  He loved it!  Over the course of 3 days he made:

• Eggplant Parmesan
• Focaccia Bread
• Tiramisu
• Pizette
• Spaghetti sauce (from scratch)
• Choc chip Biscotti
• Ziti with ricotta and spinach
• Bruschetta bread
• Torta della nonna
• Pasta all’uovo fatta in casa
• Fettuccini Alfredo

They make them taste everything at least once and Jayce was only not in love with a few things.  I just loved their row of aprons the kids grabbed as they headed back to the VERY cool kitchens.  

 

In your dreams

Jared came out this morning, I should say dragged himself out this morning sleepily asking for the kitty cat that was in his room.  I asked what color it was.  Blue.  Spying some snuggle time with this wiggler, I pulled him up and tried to explain what a dream was.  He just wanted the kitty.  He disappeared and came back asking where it went and that it wasn’t in his room!  He searched the whole house.  Poor kid. 

Does anyone know if cats help with scorpions?   I was thinking of getting one…

Dinner for Maria’s mom

I wanted to spread the word for my friend Maria.  Her mother was diagnosed with cancer and they have an auction and dinner planned for this weekend in her behalf.  Please check it out, and SPREAD THE WORD!

Just wanted to let you all know about the upcoming "Italian Dinner and Benefit Auction" that is scheduled for June 5th at the Mesa Jaycee's Courtyard in Downtown Mesa.

You can purchase your tickets through PAYPAL or credit card on the top right corner of this blog. You can also call (480) 649-0562 for more information or to order tickets.

There are going to be some great items and deals at the auction. Click Here  for our growing list of auction items.

We are still looking for additional items for the auction. Please email Maria at onesmartchicken@gmail.com or Andrea at amanning24@gmail.com if you have something to donate. All donations are appreciated:)

Thank-you all in advance for your support. Our entire family appreciates it!

I wear my sunglasses at night

 

I got new sunglasses.  I haven’t owned a pair since I was in my previous decade years.   I’m not sure why, since I only spent $10 on mine.  I think I spent 20 minutes in front of that tiny 2x2 inch mirror trying in vain to see which ones looked good without actually seeing my whole face.  I thought about asking a passerby, but who would really say  ‘Umm, no.  Those look terrible.’     So, I grabbed the ones with some sparkle and headed off to grab some mailing envelopes.  I couldn't help it, I swung back by the sunglasses and made one last (or twelve) attempt to find the best pair, before I realized…  it was 10 bucks, the time I spent was worth more than that. 

So, now every time I have them on, I find my self peeking in any mirror I can find.  Probably dangerous as I drive.   I am sure it will pass.

mama musings

My friend Codie and I were chatting this afternoon about mothers.  How to be a mother your children want to be around as adults.  We talked about not placing your baggage upon your children, about putting on a happy face when times are tough, and being a ‘safe’ mom. 

It’s overwhelming to think of all the things you need to juggle and balance in order to achieve this relationship with your child.  My mom just sent me a story about a small girl who convinced her mother to throw care to the wind and run through the pouring rain.  These are the moments that matter.  Letting your kids play in the rain (and mud) even when your busy, reading books with them, (when you would rather be sitting quietly on your own reading a book),  playing 52 card pick up, coloring the doghouse with them instead of yelling at them for it, launching marshmallows as a family gathering activity. 

I have a temper, there’s no hiding that fact.  But a thought crossed my mind a while back as I was standing above one of my kids and yelling about probably spilled water.  “Is this problem life altering?”  Usually not.  It doesn’t stop me every time I lose my temper, but it has softened my perspective and slowed my anger dramatically.  We should save our outbursts for things that really deserve it.  Losing a job, or a child, or a house.  Or even a broken window, red spray paint on a garage door, or a baby powder covered bedroom.

J and J on a jet plane

Have I lost this gift?  I think once you are over the age of 10 your brain no longer thinks to cut a steering wheel out of paper, strap on your flying helmet, assemble magnets as a control panel and spend a few minutes flying with your little brother at your side.

Weekend recap

• Baseboards and closet doors installed, after 2 years yeah!
• I had to do the walk through to see if it was done well enough, and I suck at that, so they aren’t right.  Grrr.
• Rained out camping trip with our friends the Hardy's and Allen's.  Darn.
• Had a pool party and BBQ instead with them and it was awesome.
• Made a few too many trips to the bathroom with an upset stomach. 
• Lost 2 pounds, yee haw!
• Spent an afternoon reorganizing the toy room after caulking and painting baseboards. 
• Kids spent hours in it since it’s ‘new’.   A kid kitchen is a delight after being moved to the opposite side of the toy room. 
• Spent 2 hours in the kitchen making fried chicken, gravy, biscuits and potatoes.  (I hardly make real meals,  mostly semi homemade) 
• Heard comments like…   This isn’t cooked all the way.   Can I have ketchup?  Ew, I only want a biscuit.  You have to try it before you get ketchup.  Mom?  What is ketchup?  Oh yeah, the red stuff. 

More for me then.

Survival of the pickiest

I was blessed with a picky eater.  I think it’s punishment.  My poor mom, I’m not sure how I survived most dinnertimes.  I am sure she had to laugh at my talent for disposing of food in creative ways. 

We had these chairs with cane woven bottoms.  And cushions over top of that.  We had mashed potatoes one night when my Grandma was visiting and while she was cleaning up the floor she noticed a pile of worms under a chair.  Upon further investigation I admitted to lifting my cushion and mashing them underneath and through the cane, hence the worms. 

My chair backed up to the stairs,  and under the stairs was open.  Mom used it for stashing things that were in the way.  We didn’t venture back there very often.  So, one night when we had a chicken dish I didn’t care for, I quickly and quietly launched one piece at a time, behind me under the stairs. 

Peas and other small veggies were often wrapped up in a napkin, but most kids have learned that trick by age 3.  I learned how to swallow them whole with a small swig of liquid and continued that for years. 

Pizza.  Oh how I hated the pizza sauce.  (I am sure my sisters are laughing at this point)  You always knew which plate was mine since I would peel up the cheese, wipe off the sauce and sort of wipe it off around the edges of my plate.  As I am writing this, I realize just how big of a pain I was.  Sorry mom.  Revenge is yours in the form of Jayce.

Miss you already

Mom’s moving next month.   Back to Cali.  I am sure she has wondered why I don’t seem to care.  I wondered why I was handling it all so well actually.  But I can feel it coming.  I just keeping pushing the thought aside.  Filling my head with thoughts of the shoreline 10 minutes from her new house.  Reminding myself that she needs to be where my dad is.  If I slow the craziness that is my life, I am sure the emotions will start seeping through the cracks and eventually…   the dam will break.   Damn dam. 

So, to my mom.   I will miss you more now than I have ever in my life.  Your home has been a refuge on countless occasions, your shoulder already heavy laden, has always an open invitation, your dinner table always equipped for extra settings, your candy cupboards always full, and I will miss you terribly. 

That being said.  I know you’re not dying, and we will see you later this summer.  But I will miss you. 

Worry about yourself

We are nearing 3 weeks without a warning.  I actually hold my breath each day as we walk back to the car and I ask how his day was…  Jayce’s teacher has a behavioral system in place where each day that a child doesn’t receive a warning (for turning around, hitting, talking out of turn etc…) they get a sticker on their weekly chart.  This year Jayce has had 4 different weeks when he has gotten all 5 stickers each week.   But never more than a week in a row. 

So as we are nearly to the end of the third sticker riddled week, I have to reflect back to the past 2 years…   Principles office for punching contests with a friend, sand throwing, temper flaring, and making sure a classmate gets what's coming to him when he breaks the rules and isn’t caught by the teacher. 

A common phrase in our home, when one of us is tattling or butting in, is “Worry about yourself”.  Jayce is catching on.  I am so proud of him and his improvements.  He is a joy to have in our home.  Love you buddy.

His quiet way

He has the day off.  I have a few clients scheduled.  I find myself caught up in the hustle and bustle of the normal morning, throw in a load of laundry as I walk by, feed the kids breakfast, all dressed, and ‘Oh? You want to drive him to school?  That would be fantastic, thank you.’  He did a few things on my honey-do list and after a few hours with my client, since the kids sort of run free, the house needed a little TLC.  After a break catching up on a Tivoed show and lunch, I find myself scrubbing baseboards.  We have contractors coming to finish installing them and they need to be cleaned.  This is when it started.  The grudge.  Each time I walked through the office and by Jason with earplugs in watching a movie, my mood got a little darker.  The sweatier I got while scrubbing, it seemed the more unkind I became.  He caught on pretty quickly this time and asked what was wrong.  It was then I realized my selfishness.  And since communication is the key to a happy marriage, I simply said, “I’m not sure why, but when I take a break it’s fine, but when I am working and you are taking a break, I feel like you need to keep up and work too.”   Here’s the kicker.   He simply smiled, turned and walked away.  No back lashing.  No claiming it’s unfair.  No calling me out on how stupid that is.   Just a smile that he knew I was learning.

Mom and me

Last weekend was our families first time participating in the ward’s fathers and sons camping trip.  My boys were thrilled and apparently had a grand time.   No pictures, I forgot to send him with a camera. 

Lainy and I didn’t quite know what to do with the silence.  As soon as the boys walked out the door we turned slowly, like in the movies and looked at each other. 

We reviewed the trailers to several children- themed movies and Lainy decided on Disney’s Earth.

 

SO COOL. 

Since a 4 year old can’t whisper, every comment made was at full volume.   Lots of ooo’s and aaaah’s and a few squeals and panicked squeaks.  We loved it. 

We came home and started in on our make-up. 

She did very well, with the eye shadow, and then blush and even the blending…

She decided her nose was too bare and shadowed it brown.  I drew the whiskers since we were on the brink of character make up anyhow. 

We painted toes and fingers, and watched Happy Feet until we fell asleep in my bed.  Grammy and Poppy invited us to breakfast the next morning.  We were thrilled.   And then stuffed.  I loved spending 24 straight hours with my little girl.  Love you Pretty!

hieroglyphic springs

We found some keys that said they were property of the state, but every number called can’t help.  Wonder what they open?  

All 3 kids did amazing on the hike.   Lainy pooped out near the end, and Jared needed some shouldering, but Jayce pretty much ran the 2 miles there and back. 

I looked up what these holes in the big rock along the way were and they were used by Indians to grind their grains. 

This was where we stopped.  Very cool rocks and much needed shade.  No hieroglyphics inside the cave, but there were a ton on the walls of the mountain nearby. 

The last time we took this hike, I went without a husband to help carry the load, I was 3 months pregnant, Lainy was nearly 18 months old and in a carrier on my back. I was told it was an easy hike and kids could do it. Ha! Not so much.  Meg and Bryan had the pleasure of being in that boat, with 2 little ones to carry the whole time.  Such troopers! 

This time, I had Jason with me, I am not pregnant, and instead of an 18 month old I had to carry Jared on my shoulders here and there. Needless to say I enjoyed this trip a whole lot better.

**We actually took this hike last month when it was not 100 degrees, but I am just now getting around to documenting it.

The itch has passed…

Jason and I are celebrating 8 years of marriage next week, and it will be filled with laughter. No, not because of the disbelief that we made it, but because Jason got us tickets to see Brian Regan! I am thrilled for several reasons. One, I think the guy is hilarious. Two, a very much needed date night. And Three, possibly the most important and best part, is that Jason remembered and planned something.

  

Jason isn't a romantic. He sometimes fumbles over expressing his feelings, and if I'm being honest, sometimes when he means to say something nice, it comes out sounding not so complimentary. I have come to love those moments.  But here's what I have learned in the 8 years since we wed...

• There's no faking. If he tells me I look good, I know I look good.
• When I need him, he is there. Period.
• He can't sleep without snuggling, until he starts twitching, then I'm done.
• His laugh is infectious.
• The man is a machine when it comes to work.
• While on the topic of machines, he works out daily and it pays off. Ü
• He knows the scriptures and loves the gospel.
• He is worthy the take me through the temple.
• He is quick to forgive, but never expects me to forgive quickly of him.
• He's a thinker. It took me a few years to figure out that his silence often just means he hasn't come up with the best answer yet. As much as I spout off as soon as I have a response to something, he takes the time to stop and reflect on what should be done or said. (This is not me saying he is always right, but sometimes he is!)

Thank you Jason for these 8 crazy years together. I love you.

Blah blah blah, blee blee blee. Mr. Bossy.

By nature I am fixer.   No waiting patiently by the sidelines to allow a person to figure things out for themselves.   No learning process for them.  If I know a better way, you need to know about it.  And follow through with it.   Ok, so some would call me bossy.  Whatever.  Jason talks me down so many times from making unnecessary phone calls or running my mouth off a little too long.  He has become my balancer.  

I have often said regarding someone who cannot get a hold on finances or life in general, “If I could just make an outline for this or that person, and they followed it,  everything would be perfect!”   Today when I said it, my brain must have made the obvious connection it had missed so many times before.   I am sure my Heavenly Father has said that at time or two on my behalf.   Except, He has made an outline for me and I still can’t get it right.

I have by no means mastered this process, but at least I am out of the denial phase.  Don’t they call denial the first step?  I can no longer deny that I can’t control or fix everyone.  Including my children.

Love Story meets Viva la Vida

Jon Schmidt.  Amazing pianist.  I have seen him in concert twice and will continue to go every year.  He’s the kind of musician that when I am listening live, or at home, I have a hard time keeping in my seat.   This is his brand new song.  LOVE LOVE LOVE it!