Life's game of Hide and Seek

Life has a way of moving on whether we are ready or not.  It's kind of like the hide and seek game we used to play when we were kids.  Once someone started counting you felt the need to turn and run, the counting always seemed to go too fast, and before we knew it, we were being sought for.  So it has been for the last month, since Janna passed.  Life seems to always be counting, seeking and trying to come for us.  So, we must run.  Check off our lists, follow our schedules, live our lives, find our way.  I can hardly believe a month has passed.  It was a few weeks after the funeral before my brain slowed down enough to let my heart catch up and remind my body that it was still housing a broken heart.  Sunday was tough.  Everything reminded me of her.  Every song, everywhere I looked, each activity.  I am at odds with the idea that it is healthy to mourn, and that moving forward in life is exactly what we should do.  It seems like a betrayal. Sadness was the opposite of what Janna wanted for us.  Somehow, I think she understands our grief.  And so, I have begun to look forward, move forward, and live in gratitude for each day, and the the time I had with her.