Wrestling with myself

Yet another un-mastered parenting technique. 

The boys are finishing up their wrestling season.  It’s been a lot of fun.  Jayce seems to do well in individualized sports.  And he has enough competitive nature in him to give him the drive he needs when there is a bump to get over. 

Jared is 5.  That explains half of it.  He’s still such a tiny person.   Also, not much competitiveness.  And much to my embarrassment, he’s… my own creation.  He’s the youngest.  The one I’m softest on.  The one who isn’t allowed to be picked on.  The only one home with me all day everyday. Which translates to crying every time he loses a match, gets a minor injury, has his feelings hurt, feels uncomfortable, or blinks.  

Here’s my dilemma.   Do I start now being tough mama (by losing it and yanking him by the ear while in tantrum mode into the hallway) or by kindly and lovingly (and embarrassingly) let him sit out whenever he wants and sniffling?  I tell him suck it up, toughen up and get back out there to which he responds with defiant and loud no! and I hate… (wrestling, the coaches, the mats, the other boys, me) too!  Coach muscle and tattoo sleeves tried to help, talking to him and telling him it will be fun, (which was met with death stares and no’s by Jared) who finally picked him up out of the chair and carried him back to the group.  Jared was ticked. 

Sigh.  I know in 15 years I will sit and laugh as I tell this story to him, but today it makes me tired and worried. 

Thanks for nothin’

For my children:

Thank you bringing home the flu from wherever you got it.  Thank you at least for making it into the bucket.  Please try not to spill it next time when you stand up.  Thank you for feeding yourselves whatever you could reach while I had my fair share of the bucket.  Thank you for taking one AIMS test before you decided you were not quite done and graced the other children at recess with the news by puking on the basketball court.   Thank you for being home from school on the day I was in charge of mutual, and on the day it was scheduled to be at our house.  So, as I listen to you all jumping upon the bed upstairs (health always follows the sound of the days end school bell) please know that I love you and that the hand sanitizer is in the bathroom.

Learn. No matter what you do.

“Education, formal education, is a wonderful thing. No matter the class you may choose to take, learn. Learn as if your life depended on it. Perhaps it will. When you open a new textbook, say to yourself, ‘I want to know what this book has to teach me.’ Learn the thrill of digging for fossils on the mountainside, or working over a test tube until dark, or getting on the trail of something in the library and searching it down feverishly for hours. Be a real student, an intellectually curious student.” – Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I have done hair for 10 years.  It seems such a long and short amount of time.  In 2 short weeks I will sell off most of my hair styling supplies, and focus my efforts elsewhere.  So much sadness is attached to this change.  Loss of friends, schedule, and a small sense of self.  The thought  “Am I as important of a person without being a hair dresser?”  I know, silly and self centered.  But I still own the thought.   

When I read this quote this morning I realized I am whoever I want to be, and will become whatever I invest into myself.  I have a list of talents I want to explore and find out of I possess.  I want to be available to my children more often.  I aspire to have a clean house! 

So to myself…  hello goodbye!

I love me.

Reminder #26

Look at yourself and see what is right instead of what is wrong.

I wish I had internalized this line of thinking as a youth.  It is easy to find the things we don’t like in nearly every life situation.  I tend to whine a lot more than I express gratitude.  And that is exactly what we are doing when we criticize ourselves.  Whining about something we didn’t get.  Or about something that isn’t perfect. 

There is a section in a parenting book I read about counting the number of negative interactions between you and your child, writing them down and doing the same with the positives.  I was shocked at the numbers.

We need to take stock sometimes of our attitudes about ourselves.  Take the time to think about how you view yourself, the way you look, your actions, and then choose to focus solely on everything wonderful about yourself.  It’s refreshing. 

And then climb down off your high horse…   Ü

Too tired

Today’s reminder is quite a bit deeper than I had intended.  I am exhausted and don’t have the mental capacity to do the rest of it justice. So instead, I found reminder #13 to be appropriate for the occasion:

Say a short prayer even when you are too tired to pray.  

G’night.

Déjà vu, Armpit hair and other such things…

Jayce learned a few concepts this week that I found humorous. 

Déjà vu-   We were driving to piano and he quick turned to me and said, “whoa! That was so weird. I just saw… all of these things on the freeway, in my dreams last night.  I think.”  I laughed and tried to explain what he was experiencing (how does one really give an explanation?).  It was really fun to be able to see him try and figure out what he was feeling. 

Also on this same drive we discussed armpit hair.  His legs are getting quite hairy and I mentioned as much.  I told him hair would be arriving at some point, under his arms.  He laughed and said, “I already do!”  (baby hair.  Peach fuzz.) 

Irony-  The kids and I were discussing as we passed a CVS pharmacy, what exactly a pharmacy was.  That they sold drugs.  The good kind, that doctors give you to feel better.  A few minutes passed and Jayce started to giggle.  He said, “we just passed a store called smoke shop,  the kind where they sell the bad drugs, like cigarettes, and they had a no smoking sign in the window.”   I had to laugh that his 9 year old brain caught the irony. 

Reminder #2

Invite the missionaries to your home once a month. 

As a kid the missionaries were in and out of our house like a revolving door.   There is just something about having a person who’s life is dedicated to the Lord 24 hours a day, in your home.  So many tid bits of memories are attached to those young men and women who came through our doors…

-Sitting at our piano (probably 11 years old) next to an Elder playing what was probably a beautiful piece of music, and I would hit a key randomly to be a pain.  Finally, I assume he had had enough of it because he took my hand and bit my finger!  I was shocked into behaving properly and to this day am reminded of just how annoying it is to interrupt a pianist during a song. 

-There was a older woman named Sally who lived down the street and back then the missionaries used to live in a room in her house.  We loved Sally.   She had one of those singing voices where the vibrato is slow and old ladyish.  But I loved it.  She was thin and had exaggerated facial features and chin length grey hair, but she was an angel.  We would hang out at her house (sometimes when no one was home!) and I remember laying on the floor with our feet propped up in the seat of the couch and we would roll silly putty into a ball and throw it against the wall racquetball style.  I never pulled any pranks on Sally, but I am pretty sure Shannon was one of the ones who was in on saran wrapping her toilet or filling it with jello…

-Ashley was from England (I believe).  I don’t remember too much of what he was like as a missionary serving in our area. But I do remember when he brought his new bride back to the states to visit.  They were hilarious.  Driving on the wrong side of the road both on accident and for humor.  Hanging outside in 50 degree weather in shorts and a t-shirt while we were bundled to our toes.  Vanessa (his wife) even took the time to teach Shannon and I to say the name of the longest city.  Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.  Yes. We can still say it. 

We have had the missionaries in our home on too few occasion.  The excuses are many and some are relevant, but I need to work harder at making sure my home is a welcome place to these young men and women who need a meal or a moment.

Hymnnnnn

In an effort to re-boost my desire to keep blogging, I have decided to use a little book of “reminders for Latter Day Saints” as a guide for idea starters.  Todays reminder is:
Share your hymnbook with the person next to you. 
When I was young, singing along with the hymns in church was mandatory.  We are not a musical family by any stretch, but I do believe singing in church is a form of worship, and I need all the help I can get.  As a youth I remember my dad’s rendition of well…  any song we sang.  He was forever ‘forgetting’ where we were in the song and would (along with the correct tune) sing something like “ IIIII don’t knowww where we aaaare.  Thiiiiis song is realllllly looooong.”   To which we would respond with either a burst of giggles (as smaller children) or an eye roll as we got into our teens. 
Today I love singing the hymns.  A few years ago I joined in with the church choir.  I figured I could be one of the filler voices.  I could read music and learned how to harmonize.  I love to sing and just as my mother did, once my kids can read, they can and will sing the hymns.

Heat waves

My butter is melting on the counter. 

I refuse to turn on the air conditioning in March. 

On the up side, my trees have exploded is green sensationalism. (is that a word?)

It’s officially Spring! 

Summer in Arizona

Friendship

Friendship has been on my mind today.  I have been blessed throughout my life with more dear friends than I am sure I deserve.  At each milestone in my life I have had a friend by my side to laugh, cry, or carry me through.  I was made aware recently of a situation of a woman I know feeling very lonely.   Feeling as though she doesn’t have a friend, and feels so isolated at home with her children.  This is when it dawned on me.  How ungrateful I had been.  Here was a gift I had been given my entire life, and I had rarely given it any thought in gratitude.  First, I was brought up in a church where your social framework is practically set up for you.  Second, I was given the gift of gab.  And third, the opportunity to have friends in my home nearly everyday, for hours at a time to talk and get their hair done.  What a giant pile of friendship I have been given!  So to all of you who are my friends from the past or present.   I am grateful for you.   And to my Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me the gift of friendship.

Back in the saddle again

I thought I would wait until things calmed down around here and when schedules slowed down I would get back on the blogging horse.  Well, that’s not happening anytime soon, so when I caught my kids all gathered ‘round a book of photos and memories of themselves, I knew it was time to make time. 

We just came home from a week long trip to visit my parents in CA.  It was a week filled with hiking, trips to the park, many hours with feet propped up on the couch drinking in my latest book,  many many moments of scolding my children, and laughter, naps, waaaay too much fast food, and much needed relaxation. 

Never did go to the beach.  Minutes from the ocean and my kids practically begged to avoid to altogether.  I think we have been in AZ too long.

I miss my mom and dad.  I was ready to get back to the grind after a week though.  It’s nice to stick a pin in the crazy for a few days, but I’m happy to be home.

Best compliment EVER.

Jared: (hugs me) When I’m a dad, I want you to be my wife.

Me: (melting) Ok, but what about dad?  Who would be his wife then?

Jared: He could just find a new wife. 

Me: You won’t want me as a wife by then anyway.  I’ll be old and wrinkly.   

He just smiled. 

Sooplee list

When we were kids,  well probably closer to teenagers, we were traveling in the car together as a family.  I’m probably wrong, but I envision that we were somewhere between California and New York on one of our annual cross country road trips where all the best memories are made.  We took to traveling car games and often read the passing signs.  Shannon read one once that she will never live down…   A sign that read Army Supplies.

 Shannon asked, “Mom?  What are army… sooplies?”   Supplies Shannon, I remember my mother saying through a giggle.  The word supplies has always been connected to that silly little memory.  Not too long ago I heard this from my 7 year old daughter,  Lainy was reading the words written on one of my spray bottles.  "Sally beauty supply"   But she read it, "Sally booty sooplee.  Mom? What are booty sooplees?"

 

10 minutes can change everything.

I have mixed feelings about whether or not every parent should feel the way I felt this afternoon. 

Lainy and Jared ride scooters outside on a regular basis.  We live on a quiet street and I just keep the door open to listen for them.  Today was no different.  Well,  yes it was.  Today I lost and found Lainy.  I came out to Jared telling me that he couldn’t find Lainy.  He said she had crossed the street to pet a dog. She isn’t allowed to cross the street.  Red flag.  He said she followed it.  RED FLAG.  He said it was a dad with the dog.  At that point I was a wild screaming desperate mother running and yelling my sweet girls name.  I called 911 immediately.   They ask you seemingly simple questions. But when you have to tell a 911 operator that your daughter has blonde hair blue eyes and what she is wearing, it is the most terrifying feeling I have EVER felt in all of my existence.  Jayce took off on his bike to scope the closest streets.  He found her around the corner and down the street. She was petting a cat. 

10 minutes. 

She was only gone 10 minutes and it changed me forever.   The police came in record time just to make sure all was well.  He said that there were 30 units en route before we had found her.  My sweet baby.  All 3 of my children came into Lainy’s room while their very emotionally charged mother said words that I am sure they will forget.  But I am sure none of us will forget the feeling we had as we all cried and hugged together in realization of what could have been.  I am immensely grateful for the outcome.  I am grateful that I could learn this lesson without losing my Lainy for longer than 10 minutes.

Food glorious food…

When we were first married and had moved out here to AZ we lived near my sister Shannon and her family.  We had gone to a meeting together about how to start, store, and utilize a year supply of food.  It was a lot of info and my head was swimming.  I felt excited, anxious, and overwhelmed.  I had a small stack of papers in my hand and I knew they would be useful at some point.   Shannon gave me my very first nugget of info for doing something with all of that information… She said, start a food storage file.  Stick those papers in it, it will grow.  Now, 10 years later as I have pulled that file out of its place countless times, I remembered what she had said.  And that file has grown.  It’s a nice big fat file of beautiful information. 

Many of you have heard, or know that Mormons have a goal to store a year supply of food.  It’s quite a task!  In fact, it took me 5 years to even begin because there were so many different ways of planning for it.  Plan by pounds (get 400 lbs. of wheat, get 100 lbs. of corn meal, 150 lbs. of sugar, etc.) plan by meal, (get everything you need for a spaghetti meal and multiply it by 52.)  And then somewhere in between.  Then you have your 72 hour kits, your water supply, toiletries, medicines… the list goes on. 

I am at a point in my life where I just get what I can, when I can.  Sometimes I get ambitious and I organize and plan, roll with it for a while, and then I scrap that plan and try something else!  But, I am getting somewhere.  

Now we have been married for 10 years, I still have my food storage file of information, and I still feel excited, anxious, and overwhelmed by food storage.  It is one of my 2012 goals to get a concrete plan to continue storing and using my year supply. 

“Remember, a year’s supply is not so much a matter of dollars and cents as it is of faith and obedience.”  - Unknown

2012 Calendar

It has become a tradition that one of our 5 siblings  is in charge of creating a calendar for my mom each Christmas.  It was my turn this year…

The idea of spelling out the month with your body seemed easier in my head.  Jess and Tami couldn’t seem to convince their 6 month old to hold still, so we made due…

Here’s to a blessed 2012!

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." Zig Ziglar

Lainy’s lucky #7

***Lainy’s birthday post quite a bit late!

Lainy turned 7!!   She started piano lessons nearly a year ago and sits at the keys every time she passes by.  She sings every chance she gets.  I had to remind her that the whole congregation could hear her continuing to sing after they had finished the song.  Lainy speaks her mind whether you would prefer her to or not. For example: I asked her if she knew if her teacher drank coffee so I could get her a gift card.  She said yes.  I said, are you sure?  Her reply, “Yes, I was talking to her and I smelled her breath and said, ‘ew! You’re breath stinks!’  She said it was her coffee.”  Lainy adores her brothers. And is a great balance between a big brother who likes to be in control, and a soft spoken little brother.  If there is an adult around who even remotely tolerates her, she is quite literally a magnet.  Tucked up under their arm, or plopped right on their lap if they let her.  She has been that way since she could make a decision to like or dislike someone.  Actually,  she likes everyone.  Except the scary lady with the giant black drawn-on eyebrows and witch voice we saw at Fuddruckers when she was only a baby…  she did not like her.   But other than that, she can find something she loves in just about everyone.  She let’s me yank,twist, and twirl her pretty blonde hair into any fashion I choose.  She is my sweet little princess and I am grateful for the gift of being her mother.  Love you Lainer. 

 

Christmas Traditions 2011

• Reindeer Food on the porch
• Act out and read the story of Jesus birth on Christmas eve
• Give and write down 3 gifts of bettering ourselves to Christ and put them in Christ’s birthday box
• Candles on the table for Christmas eve dinner
• Make scissor candy
• kids get an ornament every year
• read a Christmas story every night in December

Some of our traditions have started and ended or phased out, and some that we never planned have stuck around.  I love our traditions and the memories that come with them.  If I can remember to see through the craziness of the season, and enjoy the time spent with family and friends it really is the best time of the year. 

My gratitude post… a month late.

I finished reading the Book of Mormon in 30 days earlier this month.  Boy, did I need it.  A woman teaching an auxiliary training meeting mentioned that she had taken a BoM 30 day reading challenge and that if we felt like we needed a kick start spiritually, she recommended it.  If I ever needed a kick start, it was then.  Did I have life changing visions, or answers to questions I had had for years?  No.  Did I feel as though I could move mountains or part seas?  No.  Here’s what I did have;  A clearer view of what my blessings were.  A strengthened relationship with my Savior.   I hit my knees more often in those 30 days then I can ever remember doing in my 32 years of life.   Life was as filled with trials and craziness as it was before I began.  None of that changed.  It was my perspective that changed.  I mentioned to my sister more than once that life just felt richer.   I am grateful for that holy book.  I am grateful for those who were faithful enough to do what was needed to allow me to have those words in my home.  I am grateful for my Savior and for this season to be constantly reminded of His birth and the life He lead and gave for me. 

Merry Christmas!

Jared talk for the day

Jared has taken to talking quite often about fighting bad guys. And letting me know what he will do to them if they come around.   Today was quite a bit more interesting than the typical, beat ‘em up business.   He mentioned he would kick him where it counts and I hadn’t been paying attention so I asked whom he was referring to.  A bad guy.  I told him he was too young to fight bad guys.  He said, maybe when he’s 10.  I told him he probably should wait until he is a daddy’s age to worry about that kind of thing.  Silence.  But mom, I have the scripture Power.  (this is a song they learn in primary)   And mom, I am  growing a bump on my arm.  Jayce has a bump on his arm too, to fight bad guys. 

Later this afternoon he began talking about how much I like him, (and I do!)  and that for that very reason had he been born.  He said that we liked him so much, we liked him into this world.  So I asked him how he thought babies did get here.  Well, first um, it’s a tiny brain.  Then it um, grows into a really big brain.  Then it um, goes as a really tiny rainbow, then it gets to um, a really big rainbow (hands rainbowing through the air) and then it makes a tiny baby and it grows and grows. 

I love this boy.