Productive parenting

Why do we tell our kids not to fight with one another and yet we as adults have yet to learn the concept?

It's things like this that make me feel all the more inadaquate as a parent. What makes me qualified to teach a child something I have yet to master?

As I watched my children being disciplined for fighting this morning, it was if a light went on and the wheels started churning. We have to stop and regroup our parenting stradegies sometimes. I get in a groove where I find myself saying the same things over and over to my children in response to a bad behavior and of course, since I have to repeat it so many times, it's obviously not productive. I thought to myself, instead of just telling my kids to stop fighting, or yelling at them for yelling, I need to teach them that yes, it is ok to have an arguement or a disagreement with one another. Teach them the things I have learned in my own marrige. To fight fair and argue a true point.

I have realized watching my children and others with older kids, that this generation of parents has to be smarter. We have to be more creative and learn what our children are learning in order to be an effective parent. A swat or a 'go to your room, your grounded" just isn't going to cut it anymore.