A blessing this is not

Whenever I take a moment to reminisce and think about where life has taken me, I almost never feel a desire to relive a phase.  Definitely do not want to repeat the teenage years.  Loved dating, but man am I glad that’s over.  Love love loved my kids in baby phase, and many moments have passed when I wish I could go back to that one.  I enjoy where I am at.  I don’t even mind the wrinkles beginning.  I have always thought of aging as sort of a trophy.  That I had earned every single line, scar, and stretch mark.  But today…   today I’m not so optimistic.  Today I found white hair sprouting from my head.  What?  What is this?  I’m a hair dresser!  Doesn’t that make me exempt?  This will not be handled with grace.

Move over mountain… please.

I’ve had a few (dozen) whiny moments in the past year mostly about my living and financial circumstances.  I am aware that I am human and to have these imperfect and ungrateful thoughts is within the normal parameters of a carnal minded being.  But I have been meaning to write down some of the miracles that have taken place as well. 

With Jason being in school full time there have been some roadblocks in the process.  Let me see if I can explain.  Jason has a brain unlike most.  (definitely unlike mine)  It’s like a magnet, stuff just sticks in it.   On an average day when a person thinks of something interesting (why do so many have a fear of clowns? or Are dogs mouths really cleaner than humans?)  and we wonder about it for a minute and move on.  Jason actually follows through with every thought left unanswered.  (I’m getting off topic here) Ok, so Jason doesn’t learn in a typical fashion.  He struggles learning in lecture form.  He needs application and to be given the info and allowed to manipulate it in his mind his own way in order to internalize it.  It makes college hard. 

Last semester things had gotten so difficult that we made the decision that if he didn’t pass his Calculus 3 class, we would close this chapter of school and he would go back into the work force. He put everything he had into that class.  Tutor center everyday, study every night. He did well the whole semester until his final.  Which he bombed.  Tests seem to eat him for dinner.   So, that night we started looking for jobs.  We were sad and frustrated after years of prayer and fasting and knowing school was the answer. We had a huge mountain in front of us with no clear way to pass.  

We had forgotten that mountains can be moved. 

That night, the instructor for the class sent him a long email giving him both praise and constructive criticism.  He had made the decision to disregard his final grade and gave him a passing grade.  He wanted him to continue on with his schooling.   Financial aid came through that very evening and we felt an overwhelming confirmation that we were doing what we should be.

Jared and the Chocolate Factory

My sisters and I took a trip out to Cerreta’s  Candy Company this afternoon.   Jared is not my most expressive child as you will see in the pictures…

First we met our tour guide (I say that very loosely).  She introduced herself as Candy, and went on to explain that it was family owned and run.   I couldn’t help it.  “Candy?  For real?”  For real.  She is the owners granddaughter.  Awesome. 

We did a very fast tour of a couple of the conveyer belts of choc covered pretzels and…  yup just the pretzels.  Quick tour.  We did get 2 or 3 samples.  Jared spit just about everything into the trash.  I however, did not. 

Then Jared and Carter made their own little chocolate pizza.

Carter was thrilled about it ALL.  So cute.

 

Jared was not your average kid in a candy store.  Quite melancholy for most of it.  This Santa was 5 feet and solid chocolate.   That’s the kind of Santa I can believe in. 

In this photo Jared has a mouthful he is waiting to spit out.  Is this my kid??  And then making the pizzas with Candy the tour guide.

A whole hand

I’m having a hard time looking forward to the joyous occasion of birthdays these days.  Especially this week.  For a single reason.  I’m just not ready for them to get any older.  Up until this year I was so excited for the milestones and the passing of phases.  

• Sleeping through the night
• Shrinking of the size of bag I lug around
• Feeding themselves
• Potty trained
• Learning to communicate.
• Picking up after themselves
• No screaming fits in the store
• Life doesn’t revolve around naptime
• Etc etc etc.

All 3 children are onto the next phase in childhood and I’m not ready.   Because what also comes with all of those very convenient comforts of growth are:

• Less snuggling time
• don’t kiss me in public
• No more lap naps
• Learning to communicate (barter/manipulate/negotiate)
• bigger clothes
• bigger appetites
• sending them to school

My little Jared turned 5 last week and I was not happy about it.  I asked him if he would mind repeating his fourth year of life.  He thought long and hard for a full second before declining.  Sigh.  I love you my tiny person.  Happy Birthday! 

Jared bits

On various occasions Jared actually does speak, and when he does….

1. Jared to Grammy:  Grammy I am your best… your best…  your best cousin right? 

2. Jared to Me:  (Wrapping his arms tight around me)  Mom, I am your best husband. 

3. After dropping kids off at school…

Jared: It’s just you and me right mom?

Me: Carter is coming over today.

J: Yay! And Andrew?

Me: Andrew is at school, but Mingy is coming too. 

J:  Oh yay!  I love Carter, and Ming is so cute!  She has little buck teeth.  Little tiny baby buck teeth.  She is cute cute cute.  Little baby buck teeth, sooo cute, baby tiny buck teeth…

Invading my space

Can you tape these to our faces mom?
Um sure.
(Deep breathing into bowls)  It’s just like if we were in space!

And later… Jy: “Hey! This is what we should’ve done when the whole house stunk!”

Washington Trip 2011

This trip was memorable at the very least. 

We started out our journey stopping in Utah and staying overnight with our dear friends the Merritt's.  Thank you for opening your home to us! We miss you!  (forgot to take pictures. Grrr)

Then had lunch with a couple of Jason’s high schools friends.  (Again, no pictures.  I got the hang of it eventually)

Stopped at Shannon’s for a few days. 

Had a grand time zipping around her little Pleasantville neighborhood on quads, trampoline jumping, marshmallow roasting, airsoft warring, target shooting, item blow up-ing,  ping ponging, pool table-ing, and enjoying one another's company.  Thanks for the memories Poppleton Fam!

Then we headed up to Washington.  I think THIS is where I started going down hill…

Montana’s 50,000 silver dollar joint.  I’m not keen on the place.  We had stopped there on previous trips and I wasn’t super thrilled about swinging in again.  I became monster mama and developed a 3 year old attitude of I hate this place and how soon can we leave. 

Our first stop was Jake and Kyra's, church with them, and then a few hours up north to his mom’s.   It is definitely off the beaten path.   The forest was gorgeous.  My kids had the time of their lives.  It is well known (my whining was inescapable) that I am not a huge fan of camping.  So I struggled a bit huge amount.    The days went like this: tents,  hiking, swimming, creek wandering, kitten hording, outdoor shower taking,  out housing, bow and arrowing, hammocking, tree climbing, mallow roasting, and all around running amuck.  Love you Chad and Lynnette!   Thank you!! 

 

Well into week 2 of our vacation, and we headed out to his dad’s place for the family reunion.  (I snuck 2 days of a hotel in, as a buffer between me and crazy.)   Joe’s was great.  The kids (and Joe!) went down the creek one afternoon,  we spent a day in the church gym playing volleyball, and death by rubber ball  dodgeball.  I did some hair on the lawn. Kids ran through sprinklers, had meetings in their clubhouse, were told they couldn’t marry their cousins, and played lots of Legos. Lainy and 5 year old cousin Aaron, had an immediate friendship. He told her he was 8 so she would like him, though he could have been 3 and the color green and she would still adore him.    And then the boys decided there was no better send off for us than to blow up a dryer. 

Thanks for the memories Stolworthy family! 

The journey didn’t end there…  We (Jason) drove straight through 24 hours and came home to a washer than had flooded the night before we left (thank goodness!), a water heater that exploded and a fridge that had died a week into our vacation.  I cried.  And then I took my already packed car and went to my sisters.

Marlin meets his rival

You know Marlin, at the beginning of Finding Nemo,  how he keeps trying to tell that same joke and just can’t seem to get it right?  But he knows that deep down he really has the potential to be funny?  And then when he’s looking for Nemo, and comes across this school of fish and they say, “blah blah blah blee blee blee- Mr. Bossy”?

That is my Jayce.   He turned 9 yesterday.  And I LOVE being around him.  He has finally learned how to tell jokes that make the whole room laugh, and knows how to laugh at himself. 

He has more self assurance than even I have at age 31.  (Case in point- see wristbands in picture below)   One day I came to pick him up from school and he had his shirt tucked way into his shorts, and his shorts hiked up.  I told him he looked like a dork. He told me he didn’t care, that he liked ‘em. 

I LOVE THAT. 

If you’re going to do something, do it because you want to.   As far as Mr. Bossy goes...  He is and probably always will be bossy in some form.  I’m cool with that.

Happy Birthday Bug,  I love you!!

There he blows!

About a year ago was when I realized what it meant.  Jared would come up at random moments and just blow in my face.  It was a bit of a nuisance for a while, until one day I realized the timing wasn’t random.  It was very well planned.  Jared says I love you by blowing at you.  It has become one of my most cherished attributes of him.  He will come up and hug my legs and I respond with a smile and he will look up and blow at me.  Anytime he feels the need to show affection I get a smile followed by some Jared breath.  I love you isn’t something that escapes his lips very often.  At least audibly.  But he knows that I know what it means when he blows in my direction. 

Oh how I love that boy.

Love better

A mom post isn’t typically written in June.  But I had a little inner prickly that I needed to get on paper.  Summer has thrown all planned organized thoughts and actions clean through our newly broken window.  (A story for another day)  It makes for a lazy mama.  Which also makes for a mom who has those little heart strings tugged.  I am home with my kids all day everyday and yet I feel as though I haven’t seen them.  We watch TV, play video games, I work, and clean…  but when a tiny person comes and looks up at me with that look on his face that says I love you, I need you and I want a kiss, all without words,  I want nothing more than to rewind and spend every waking moment making memories instead of letting them be swallowed by mindless media.   My babies will only be babies once.  I just want to look back and know that I loved them enough.

Father’s Day

I had girls camp the week leading up to Father’s Day this year so it was a very low key day for Jason.  Primary leaders at church had a questionnaire printed with all of the kids answers….

What is your dad’s fav food?

Jayce: Pizza

Lainy: Ice cream

Jared: Broccoli

Who does your dad want to be like someday?

Jayce: A Dad

Lainy: A police officer

Jared: His self

Other good ones: someone with a shorter job, Larry Fitzgerald, Chuck Norris, Batman, border patrol, a pet helper at the zoo, Justin Bieber, like Noah.

What is your dad’s shoe size?

Jayce: 15

Lainy: 60

Jared: 15 feet

Other good ones: big, giant, 70 feet, this big.

If your dad could wish for one thing, what would it be?

Jayce: XBOX 360

Lainy: An IPod touch

Jared: to work again 

Other good ones: Someone would do his work for him, to be taller, older sisters to not be terrors, a star, to never send me to my room, to runaway, to play like a T-rex.

Who is your dad’s best friend?

Jayce: Heavenly Father and my mom

Lainy: Uncle Jess

Jared: He doesn’t have one

What do you like to do with your dad?

Jayce: Play Basketball

Lainy: Eat pizza with him at Red Robin (I don’t even think RR has pizza…)

Jared: Play with him

Other good ones: Play Barbie's

What is your dad’s favorite thing to do in his free time?

Jayce: Play video games

Lainy: Watch movies

Jared: Work

Other good ones: Go to bed, fold his arms, take naps, well…nothing, play ,play ,play, hunt for mean pigs,

How tall is your dad?

Jayce: 8 feet

Lainy: 50 feet

Jared: 2 inches

Other good ones: Medium, Giant, Almost as tall as my mom, 9 inches, I’m thinking like 8,9, or 10.

 

My friend Marta

This is Marta.

  When I was 21 and in beauty school I did a LOT of pedicures.  I had my own mini clientele.  Marta and her friends came every month.  I knew the first time I met her that her and I had harmonious spirits.  We laughed and talked and worked on those callused feet!  I finished beauty school and as life took me here and there, Marta was always there with me.  She has been a comfort, a confidant and friend to me all these years.  She is a brilliant artist, quite a comedian (even when she hasn’t intended to be!) and has a fine tuned listening ear.  Marta often comes bearing gifts: wind chimes, treats, and even sweet letters in the mail.  She has brought me many plants over the years. I killed the majority of them. (She started bringing my seeds after I killed half a dozen lantana, the said-to-be unkillable plant)  I credit her for my ability to keep house plants alive today via trial and error.  She brings books and love to my children, and they adore her.  I feel privileged to know her and call her my friend.  Love you Marta!

In n Out

Jared stuck an orange BB up his nose this morning.  He wanted to show me how he could shoot it out.  I of course told him that if he accidentally sniffed, it would fly up through his nasal cavity and get stuck in his brain. 

A 3-year old little girl locked herself in my bedroom while I was babysitting.  It was a lock that required a key.  A key I didn’t have.  And following instructions through a door was not this little girls strong suit. 

This afternoon Jared asked if I could help him get the orange BB out of his ear.  I told him to tilt his head sideways and gave his head a good whack.  Partly to get it out, and partly as reminder not to stick it there in the first place.  Two good whacks and no success.  I took my chances and stuck my finger in. 

Removal was successful on all accounts.  And it’s only noon.

Memorable Sisters weekend

I didn’t take any pictures of last weekend, but I will try and paint you one…

Meg, Shell and I started off on our journey Friday afternoon with our daughters in tow.  We headed out to Cali for the weekend to go to our sis-in-laws baby shower.  We piled into Meg’s van strategically placing each person to their best suited position for the drive.  8 hours isn’t too bad when you have 3 mommies, one 6 year old and two 1 year olds.  (It normally takes 6.5 hours) 

The baby shower was SO much fun.  Good food, good company, good times.  We played estimating M&M’s in a baby bottle, (mom tied for winner, but gave up the prize!)  matching baby socks in a basket within 30 seconds.  (I almost won that one, with 12 matching pairs)  And how fast can you suck down martinelli’s apple cider in a bottle?  Apparently I am very fast, since I won that one by a landslide. 

The evening was spent at mom and dad’s laughing and eating.  Lainy and I took the nice couch and all was well until….

2 am marked the beginning of the unforgetableness of this weekend.  She threw up.  And then again and  again every half hour for 12 hours. 

We packed up and headed out Sunday morning and the trip home was as you might imagine.  Only worse.  Not only was Lainy blahing in a seemingly constant fashion, my little dog Flapjack made himself comfy in Meg’s lap, and then made her uncomfortable by blahing all over the front of the van.  Mmm hmm, puking child and puking dog.  So fun trip.  The babies cried off and on just to fill in the gaps of peace. 

Before Jason even hugged me, he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth, “wow, you look like you’ve been hit by a bus”.

Busy Mother

By Jayce Age 8

One day me and my brother came to the bus stop, then the train, then the airport, after the house.  It took us 4 hours.  Hafe an hour later we came to are soccer game.  my brother had 6 sandwiches and 2 whole bags of dredos.  When we got in the car my mom is like look at the time we have to drop you off at the football game and your brother at his baseball game!  We have to bring your sister to the basketball game.  Then piano then-  YOU JUST SIND IN FOR A GOLF GAME!  My mother was so angry she exploded like crazy!  She was jumping off walles and yelling golf game! Golf game!  Golf game!  What time does it start?  5pm.  Ono right after the basketball game!  We are going to have a busy day. “Sigh”.  I hope are games cansul.  10 minutes later ya! ya! ya! ya! ya! all the games are canceled! 

***We don’t even do half of that stuff.  But apparently he is trying to tell his mother something. 

Project runaway

 

Made these little grocery bags for my mom and mom-in-law, they turned out super cute and once I got into the swing of them, super easy! 

 

This chandelier has proven to be quite stubborn in securing it’s place in this house.  So, I just went with it and covered the gross shades.  I swear it looks much better in real life. 

And my very most favorite item on my re-do list isn’t quite put back together yet.  But I am LOVING it so far! 

Preparation with a kick

Uh huh.  Those all belong to me.  All those wonderful growing things.  Hens, lemons, grapes, apples and not pictured, peaches.  All things that haven’t taken a whole lot of effort on my part.  And besides the hens which we brought with us, this house had everything else minus someone to water and prune them.  Feeling like I am on the receiving end of a little kick in the rear to get a move on with my journey to emergency preparedness. 

Stick-to-it-iveness

My poor kids.  They are going to have huge chunks of their memories missing because I can’t get with it and write them down. 

I envy those of you who can stick to a schedule.  I can stick to a schedule like gum to a shoe.  It’s sticks really well right away and am very aware of it for a good long while, until enough dirt sticks to it I eventually ignore it, or when I can’t stand it there any longer I just scrape it clean. 

Sorry blogging.  I vow to step on a fresh wad of gum with your name on it. 

So I cancelled my cable when I moved.  They told me I owed a $240 early cancellation fee.  I told them I had been using their services for 5 years and that no, I did not owe them a cancellation fee.  They agreed.

But there was a little problem.  There were two companies.  One who was also my phone company and whom if I got TV service through, they bundled the price of both the phone and TV service (we will call company A), so that is who I paid monthly.  And the other, who actually provided the TV service (company B), but whom I did not pay directly. 

So, in order to fix this early cancellation fee, I had to wait for a check from company A to be mailed to me, so I could in turn, pay company B. 

So, I got the check from company A to pay company B.  And I cashed it.  And then I got a statement from  company B, saying I had a zero balance and thank you for my business.  Hmmm.  I had $240 of theirs.  And the words that slipped out of my mouth next frightened me…

“Well, then I’m just keeping it.” 

Uh huh.  I actually said it out loud. 

I was going to STEAL! 

Once that thought zipped through my devious little mind,  I called company B to tell them I had $240 that didn’t belong to me.   After 20 minutes of them trying to figure out how to reverse a credit, he told me to call company A and try and return it to them.   But what if they won’t take it either? I asked him.  As appropriately as possible, he tried to tell me to count my blessings.  So, I spend another chunk of time on the phone with company A, who kindly said, it wasn’t their money and again was told in cable company terminology, to again count my blessings.  So, I found myself saying…

“Well, then I’m just keeping it.”

Sugar coated

For me, these two things go together like milk and cookies.  

I like sugar.  I like processed food.  It’s terrible and I know it on some levels doesn’t qualify to even be labeled food. But I still desire to inhale it.  I preface with that info so you know full well I am NOT in the business of judging anyone with this post. 

Jayce has been an asthmatic since he was a tiny person.  He suffers from eczema,bowel problems, and some pretty extreme emotional instability.  (Sorry, kiddo. I’m sure someday this post will cause some embarrassment.)  When we started in with Jared having the coughing bouts for several years, I knew the time had come.  I had toyed with the idea of changing our diets drastically multiple times, but never had the gusto to follow through. 

When we moved, I was packing and was fed up with the constant arguing between my children, so using a normal form of discipline in our home, took snacks away for the day.  Then, in an irrational moment, I packed up everything in my cupboards that had sugar or high fructose anything in it, and I stuffed it all in a bin.  It was that day I began this little journey. 

After many trips to the doctor and pharmacy filling and refilling Rx’s that take my boys 10 minutes every night just to ingest, I took Jayce to my Kinesiology/Chiropractor.  Jayce has been tested for allergy’s and had blood drawn to test for food allergy’s over the years, and the only thing my pediatrician and allergist could offer me was a band aid.  Treating the symptoms.  Well, that’s just not good enough for me.  I have a Heavenly Father and Savior whom I know have created a glorious earth and surely they have thought to give us the ability to cure allergies!  (In case your wondering at this point this this horribly long post, I haven’t found that cure yet!)  BUT, I did find out from my chiro that Jayce has an allergy to milk and cheese.  It was a starting place.

And within a few weeks of a non milk and cheese diet, Jayce’s once scabby, scratchy, always-wears-pants legs, were clear as the noon day sky.  And his temperament was remarkably changed.  Peace and harmony is a stretch on any level in my home, but normal was what I got. 

We purged our home of processed food, junk food, and more recently dyes. (Red 40, Blue 1 etc…)  Asthma is still a giant problem.  Eczema still lurks on the tops of Jayce’s knees if we are not 100% diligent.  Jayce still isn’t close to being regular in the restroom dept, but hasn’t been on Miralax for 2 months. (He has had to take it for 5 years)

I heard recently in a talk at church a man say,  “we are so careful what we allow our children to take in with their eyes and ears, why are we not just as careful with what they put in their mouths?”

I am a baby in this world of healthy eating.  But I am fully aware that I can no longer live in ignorance to what things we ought and ought not put into our bodies.