A Child’s Prayer

You never can tell which experiences will have the biggest impact on your child's life.   Apparently, whale watching is a biggie for Jared.  A few weeks after the experience, he started letting me know he was not a fan of boats, and could we please not plan on going on another boat.  Ever.   It began to keep him up at night, and then he began dreaming of it.   Poor guy.  We have talked extensively and on numerous occasions about boats and the water.  It seems it is the instability of the boat that causes him stress.  He has taken to asking if he might sleep in my bed, or can’t fall asleep for hours after bedtime.  Last week I had him start sleeping with a pillow that smelled like me for comfort.   Tonight I was sitting relaxing watching a show, and he meandered in and handed me a teeny stack of papers stapled together.  They read, “Mom, I ned too toc too you.”   He climbed up in my lap and we had another discussion about boats.  Did he ever have to go on a boat again?  No, not if he didn’t want to I told him.  Even if he didn’t go, would I go ahead on a boat without him?  Yes, I told him I would.  That I liked boats.    Later, in the kitchen I could see him sort of circling the area, seeming hesitant but needing more communication. 
JR- “um, mom?”
M-“Yes?”
JR-“so, if Jesus helped someone…  can they talk about it?”
M-“You mean are they allowed to talk about it if He helped them?  Of course, yes.”
(relief, and entering the kitchen fully now)
M- “Did he help you?”
JR- “ Yes, I was really scared the other night to go to sleep, and I said a prayer that Jesus would help me.  And mom, He did!”
I know this is a long story to get to such a simple ending, but my tiny person has always been close to his Father in Heaven.  His prayers from the time he could give them, have been detailed and heartfelt.  He is never one to be a repeater, he has always know to whom he is speaking while in prayer.  So when he told me that Jesus helped him.  I knew how very real that answered prayer was.

Unfinished sentence

I’m not a believer in coincidences.  Only in missed opportunities to realize a blessing.  There are undoubtedly an incalculable  amount of times I have missed out on said blessings.   This weeks blessing was a blog post I read and for the life of me,  I can’t find it again, but it was about a mother who shared her thoughts on yelling at her children.  And the day she realized that she would have missed out on an opportunity that changed the relationship of her and her son, had she succumbed to the urge to yell at him to get back into bed for the umpteenth time.  

Bedtime isn’t usually a smooth ride around here.  Most of time I am on my own, and it’s not a full bucket time of day.  Tonight was no different,  and by the time Jared had gotten out of bed I had:  given each an extra sip of water, revised homework only thought of once a head hit the pillow, answered questions of thumb sucking, wiped a few tears, answered a handful of questions that could have waited until morning, and volunteered to finish coloring a project due the next morning.  So when Jared shuffled into the kitchen as I was finishing dishes, I nearly snapped for him to get his hiney back in bed.  But that little voice in my head shuffled through and pulled out that don’t yell at your kid reminder, and I was blessed to hear, “Mom?  Can I tell you a sentence and you guess the end?”  Sure kiddo.  “Mom, I love you more than the ….”  Stars in the sky?  “No, I love you more than the more than the galaxy.”  I wonder how many of those beauties I have missed out on.  Love you more than the galaxy too my Jared.

Virtual rooftop

I love my husband.   I believe I tell him often enough, but I haven’t ever shouted it from the rooftops.  If you have spent any time with us, you notice that he and I go together like a sharpie marker and the hand of a toddler.   They can be a disastrous combo, but can be very,very fun and creative times.  I am not one to pretend that my marriage is bliss and frolicky.  If you have one of those, here’s your star because you are unique. 

Now, onto the more positive spin of this post.  We are coming up on the celebration of 12 years of marriage.  I am so INCREDIBLY happy that I married this man.  He is the love of my life and exactly what I need and want for forever.   I love to laugh at and with him.  And thankfully, he feels the same way.   He makes me want to be a better person without guilting me into it, or parenting me.  He is an amazing father and husband.  Consider this my rooftop and imagine I am shouting it.  I love you husband of mine.

California Blitz

We spent our spring break in California with my family.   I do believe that it was the first trip there in a few years that all 5 of us were healthy and present.   Jason had some time off work and was able to spend it with us.  While I miss having tiny people around, there are many benefits to children getting older.  One of which is road trips.  They were a dream both trips.  Day one we hit the Santa Barbara Zoo.  It was a beautiful day and most of the animals were feeling showy.  We had been there before and had had a photo op in this very spot, but this time I read the fine print…  At the bottom of the sign it reads,

“It is generally agreed that Great Apes and Man have common ancestors, but Man and Apes went their separate ways about 15 million years ago.  Therefore, you’re not a monkey’s uncle, but only a distant cousin.”   

I’m not sure if the person who was in charge of that sign just wanted a good intro to fit the his monkey’s uncle joke, or really does think we generally agree!   

Day two we stuck close to home, the kids went swimming (in a heated spa) and then took up canoeing. 

Day three was my favorite and most hated day of the week.  As a kid, I remember going whale watching with fondness.  We never saw a whale then, but I loved being on the boat and watching the dolphins race along side it.  Such was our experience on this day…  The captain announced shortly after leaving the dock that once we got going that there would a chance of spray up and over the front right side of the boat.  The kids quickly realized we were standing in that very spot.  With elation, they planted their feet. Within minutes with shrieks of joy and laughter, the chance of spray became their reality.   It was a wonderful trip, we saw beautiful birds, seals popping their little heads up to check us out, and a huge pod of dolphins darting all over the place acting as if they were playing along side the kids.  There was a tiny and short lived sighting of a grey whales tail and spray.  We made it out to Anacapa island, which is a large rock island with a whole lot of nothing much to see. There were a couple of volunteer ocean preservers on the boat and they were a wealth of knowledge.  We had been out about 2 hours and even Jason had held up well with sea sickness.  Then we had about an hours ride full speed ahead back to shore.  With the turning of the boat, came the turning of both the weather and my stomach.  I’m sure we were a green and shivering sight to behold as we stumbled off the dock that afternoon. 

That evening we had the opportunity to go to see Return from Planet Earth with the kids.  My parents work with the young single adults at church and were told there was a proposal planned right after the movie.  It was pretty fun to watch it all unfold. 

Leo Carrillo Beach was our pick of the day Friday with it rock climbable shoreline and potential for tiny marine life.  It’s where Jason and I had our engagement pictures taken and also many many childhood memories are from.  While we frolicked the day away at the beach, the men were busy at home hacking away at my parents beloved but rotting tree in the front yard.  Only minor injuries were sustained. 

That night Jason and I had dinner with my dear friend Scottie and his (adorable) fiancé Jen, to whom he had just proposed to 2 hours earlier!  Nothing like two young newly engaged couples in love, to remind you that your old! (But still very much in love!) If you are ever in Ventura, I highly recommend the place we ate at, Milano's Italian restaurant.  So yummy. 

Saturday was spent with my always entertaining brother Jess and his sweet family.  We made pizza while pretending to be real Italian dough throwers (we were surprisingly accurate- Tami? Shall I share the video?), raced on tiny bikes, and snuggled and loved on their two little angels. 

Rounding out the weekend, we attended church in the wrong ward, made delicious brownie pazookies, and played an evening of cards.   Phew!  I’m still tired just thinking about it all.

The dog ate my…

Lainy is toothless these days.  I can’t really say she looks adorable without both top teeth.  She resembles more a vampire when she smiles.   It took a few different tries to get that stubborn tooth out, and today I knew it had to be the day.  I was tired of seeing that tiny tooth twisted, turned and dangling from her mouth.  After some crying and the pain subsided, she put that little tooth in a small Ziploc bag.  Her bedding was in the washer, so she just left it on her bed until her pillow was back in its place. 
Fast forward 3 hours…
Upon returning from a movie outing, I heard a panicky voice exclaim, “where’s my TOOTH?”  On her bed there was the little bag, minus the tooth with a tooth sized hole in it.  And Flapjack leaving the scene of the crime. 
Yup.  The dog ate her tooth.  I still giggle when I think about it.  Lainy’s response was NOT that of humor, but of betrayal and anger.  She physically shoved the dog out of her room (he loves to sleep in there) and cried.  We sat and talked about it as I assured her that the tooth fairy would understand, and that it might not have been the first time this has happened.  Lainy started to come out of her tears, catch the humor of it all and said, “Well, I guess he really wanted a bone!  Get it?  Cuz my tooth is a bone?!”   A memory that won’t soon be forgotten I think.

Pinewood Derby Journey

We are not lumped into the group of cub scout families who spend weeks preparing the wheels for a pinewood derby car,  many late nights perfecting the weights and finally the paint job.   Jason spent a weekend cutting and painting  Jayce’s car and I said I would finish up putting the wheels on before the weigh in the next week due to his leaving for California… 

Conversation between Bro. Vance (Pinewood Derby Professional and seriously awesome guy) and I, as I dropped off Jayce’s car 3 nights before the race. 

Me:  There you go-

Bro. Vance:  Looks good! (picks it up) Hm, it’s really light.  Did you put an weights in it?

Me: Nope, just thought we could slap some on the bottom. 

BV:  (He has a very calm and kind voice) Oh…  Ok… Hmmm.  So, there are no weights in it at all?

Me: Nope.

BV: Ok, we can work on that.  (He spins the wheels a bit)  Sooo, how did you prep the wheels?

Me: Umm, prep? 

BV:  Did you do anything to the wheels?  How did you put them on?  (as he turns over the car and his eyes get wider)

Me: I just took them out of the box, tapped ‘em in with a hammer and then stuck some wood glue on there so they didn’t have a chance to fall off this year.  (yes, we lost a wheel in the past.  I can’t imagine how that happened…)

BV:  (lots of quiet and kind small hims and haws…)

Me: It’s ok,  you aren’t going to hurt my feelings.  What do we do?  (I’m laughing and nearly crying at this point)

BV: Well, I’m just worried I can’t make a car slow enough that this will beat it… (he made a smart car to lose, it was sweet.) I’m not even sure if this car will make it all the way to the end of the track.  I’m surprised the wheels roll at all.  (As he rolls it across the counter)  One of the wheels doesn’t even touch the ground.    He finally starts to laugh. Loudly.  And says well,  what’s Jayce doing right now?  (7:30pm)

They started over completely.  Jayce spent that night until 10 pm and the next afternoon through 9pm in Bro. Vance’s garage creating a new derby car.  And it was awesome.

(Even though I did use silver leafing paint for the stripes and mod podge on the reject car)

In my world everyone’s a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies…

At Breakfast…

Lainy:  Mom? Can I bring an ear cleaner to school today?

Me: Um, a Q tip?  What for?

Lainy:  Well, my friend… well, whenever I talk up close to him, I can see all that itsy witsy chunks of gunk in his ears. 

Me: (laughing) sure Lain, but you might need more than one. 

I love that she is such a good friend.  Heck, if I had a friend who needed a lesson in ear cleanliness, I might just avoid them altogether.  And I have no doubt she will be kind when she hands over the Q tips.  If we could all have a friend such as this.   Ha! 

Another loving Lainy moment this morning.   After a little giggle at the ear convo, Lainy made a face and noise she tends to make when she feels a bit awkward.  Jayce pegged it.  It’s exactly like this:

Katie from Horton hears a who, if you are confused.  SO FUNNY.  Love my tinies.

Of stinky things

It has been a rough week in our house.  Asthma laced with colds and whining.  I tend to panic when a child cries due to pain and discomfort.  My knee jerk reaction is to figure out what to give them to make it all go away.  Essential oils really REALLY have worked wonders.   (except when I spill half of a $30 bottle and mutter the word stupid under my breath until the desire to swear passes…)  But this week it has been a combo.  Modern medicine is a blessing we could not live without in this house. 

My Jared has been hit the hardest and last night the earache started.  I of course had been putting Apple cider vinegar/vodka mix in his ears, but this was no ordinary ear infection…  I came in to check on him a few minutes after I put him in bed last night and he was sobbing into his pillow holding his head in so much pain.   I couldn’t even touch the top of his ear without it hurting him.   A quick Google search sent me to Sprouts for garlic oil.  I just stuck a tack into one of the capsules and squeezed it right into his ear.  He went to sleep and this morning…  nothing.  He grabbed his ear wiggled and said it didn’t hurt AT ALL.   I did a little dance.  And said a little prayer.  So grateful for a Creator who thought even of our little ears. 

With so much yuck going around, there has been an absence of  humor and happiness around here.  Thank you Lainy for changing that this morning:

Mom: So, how’s things with Sidney at school, still good friends?

Lainy: Oh, yes!  We love playing together.  We play Don’t touch the cheese, and Black out. 

M: Um, Don’t touch what cheese?

L: Stinky cheese.

M: Where is there stinky cheese?

L: Oh sometimes in the lunchroom, sometimes on the playground if someone left it there.  I hate touching it. 

Can’t blame you there Lainy, can’t blame you there…

Please don’t let His dependence be lost on me

I found myself literally screaming at my computer screen this morning.  Even now my gut is resisting the urge to lurch at the words from this article.  A man was pushed onto the tracks of the subway train.  Awful in itself.  But they are looking into criminal charges against a photographer who snapped a shot just before he was hit.  He, of course, defends his photo as you will read which, whatever.  But this sentence is what I began yelling in response to…

“The moral issue among professional photojournalists in such situations is "to document or to assist," said Kenny Irby, an expert in the ethics of visual journalism at the Poynter Institute, a Florida-based nonprofit journalism school.”

Are you FREAKING kidding me???  ALWAYS ASSIST!    It’s still ringing in my head. 

Which reminds me of my experience last night…   We had the delightful opportunity to attend an end of the year soccer party of 6 years old at Peter Piper Pizza.  Pizza, soda and tokens were in abundance.  Conversation was awkward and delightful.  And then I felt someone standing next to me.  She was probably a few years older than I am,  and had a boy behind her about age 11.  She said nothing, but held a sign that pleaded for money due to her loss of employment.  It was a few seconds before I could start my judgment  plan of action.  Which ended up being silence.  Until one of the men at the table handed her some money and she left.  I was torn, did I feel in awe of her bravery and compulsion to provide for her family?   Or annoyance at her obviously intelligent choice of location to beg?  Was she really in need?   And those questions wrapped themselves around my dreams through the night until this morning when I found myself screaming at my computer. 

ALWAYS ASSIST.     

“My brothers and sisters, we are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness—be they family members, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us.” - Thomas S Monson

2 birthdays and a non thanksgiving.

Monday: Lainy came home from school with a stomach ache.   4 pm, she threw up.   Jayce started in harmony at 8pm.   Bro. Nielson called and asked if I could speak on Sunday. 

Tuesday: 3 kids home from school just to keep it contained.  Lots of sleeping and 7-up.   Skip piano.  Skip soccer.  Skip scouts.

Wednesday: 5 am, it was my turn.  The kids stayed home again.  Jason came from from San Diego at 11pm.  Yay. Reinforcements. 

Thursday:  Thanksgiving.  I started to believe that we were out of the woods.  No thanksgiving dinner.  Jared said he had a stomach ache.

Friday: 6 am Jared threw up.   Happy Birthday Lainy.  Good thing your birthday party is next weekend.  I’m still sick.  Or sick again…

Saturday:  Happy birthday to me.  Managed an hour or two date night out with my bestie Shelli and husband.  

Sunday:  Gave a mediocre talk and came home to nap.  Jason went back to San Diego. 

My talk was on Thanks be to God.   Here’s my positive spin.  I don’t think I spread the sickness. (no one came in, and no one came out),  I’m SO grateful I wasn’t sick a the same time as the children, and that they can all hit a bowl, or a toilet, minimizing clean up.  I love that I could lay lifeless on the bed while the talk I was assigned played over and over from my tablet.  I know Jason probably isn’t grateful he came home for 4 days, but I sure am.  And lastly, but certainly not even slightly least, after sacrament meeting today: enter Shelli.  Who skipped her own meeting to come see me give my talk. 

AAAAnd that’s a wrap!

Perfect creativity

I have a hard time allowing my children creative space.  I like to make sure things are neat and tidy as the craft/project/learning activity is in progress.  I usually have a vision of how I want things to turn out and want to make sure we they have success in everything that they do. 

I am learning that when I give my kids a chore to do, I have to let them do it while I am not watching.  If I don’t, I end up doing the entire chore myself because it isn’t done my way.   Having spent some time in each of my kids classes, I get to see how each teacher responds to the organized chaos of certain aspects of teaching.  For instance, Art.  Assignment: create a scene in AZ.   In my narrow mind I would have directed them all to a desert scene.  Here’s what I saw in the end…  An up close snapshot of an aerial view of a lap pool,  a green piney forest (yes they exist in Northern AZ),  kids swimming at a public pool,  a few different versions of a typical desert scene, a giant cactus, and so many others that weren’t my way.  They were perfect.  And each characteristic of the owners uniqueness.

It got me thinking about the Creation.  You know.  The big one.  This earth is a wonder, and the tiny bit I know about how it was created leaves me in awe.   I may be way off base here, but I wonder how much creative space was allowed when Heavenly Father instructed Christ on how to create the earth and it’s contents.  And that since we believe there are other worlds, how different are they?  The bounds of the beauty have to be endless due to the individuals view or take on it.  And if we live worthy enough to one day create our own world…   oh my goodness, my brain is on overload.  Such a cool line of thought. 

That said, I would never in my wildest dreams think that I could do even the simplest of things while I am here on earth, on my own.  All I have been given, and have yet to be given, all that I have done, and have yet to do, I owe and dedicate to my Savior.  I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of a Savior who is willing to tolerate, teach and love someone as imperfect as I am. 

"Don’t worry about how inexperienced you are or think you are, but think about what, with the Lord’s help, you can become."

—Henry B. Eyring

These oils are essential

I have often spouted about my frustration with asthma/allergies/eczema.  I have tried so many things to help alleviate symptoms. I have prayed so many times just to make it through the night, and so many hours begging for insight on what to do to make it disappear.    If you haven’t experienced a child with asthma, count your blessings.  With Jayce, once school starts and all things nature start to come alive from the dead summer months, his lungs begin to shut down.  He gasps and coughs constantly.  I am so grateful for the steroids he can take each day to help him to breathe without restriction.   But like I have said before, they make him a meanie. A VERY visible difference in behavior, which of course affects his relationships both in the home and at school and trickles down to his grades.  I want more than anything for him to be happy and succeed so I will literally try anything. And I have…

• Immunotherapy drops
• holistic approach BAX 3000
• Chiropractic
• diet changes/restrictions
• multiple medication changes

The only thing that worked was the stinking steroids.  My sweet friend has quietly encouraged me to try essential oils for several years now.  Honestly, I thought it was a bunch of bologna.  But I had to check it off my list so I could say I had tried.  I started in the beginning of August with some simple mixtures in a capsule for allergies and gave them to my boys each day.   Neither of them were showing symptoms a month after school started.  I felt a twinge of hope.  But then again, I didn’t know if it was the oils or just that the asthma hadn’t kicked in for the season yet.  (Jared also has asthma, but the steroids don’t affect him negatively)  Lainy came home one day with your typical seasonal allergies.  She doesn’t get them much but she was all stuffy, watery eyes, and lots of sneezing.  So, I filled her up one of my essential oil capsules and crossed my fingers.  10 minutes later she came running though the kitchen making a beeline for the Kleenex.   He nose was a faucet.  An hour or so later she was symptom free.  Hmmm.  I was intrigued. 

Neither of my boys have had any typical allergies so far this season like they usually do (itchy watery eyes, stuffy noses etc.)  Jayce’s asthma did rear it’s ugly head 2 weeks ago.  Oils couldn’t touch it.  I gave in and started steroids for 3 days and then I took him back off.  It’s been 10 days so far with oils again and so far no sign of asthma.

Lainy got sick with a cold about a week ago and the girl was a coughing maniac.  I was skeptical if the Breathe oil would be enough to help her sleep through the night.  Um. Wow.  Amazing.  I did have to reapply the oil every few hours at night, but I found myself giggling in the 4am hour, beside her bed when yet again it ceased the coughing fits. 

Now, I know it’s only Sept 26th, and the real winter season is a long ways off, but usually I am knee deep in nasty attitudes and shallow breathing by this time of year.  So I am once again spouting off my mouth, but in complete gratitude for something that it miraculous. 

*PS: Jayce’s legs and arms are usually covered with eczema, scabs from scratching, and dry skin.  He has a few tiny dots on his knees these days…  I AM SO GRATEFUL!!!

**PS again: I didn’t write this to market anything.  This is working.  This is making my sweeties healthy and happy.  I want people to know there is an alterative if your looking for one. 

6 is still tiny right?

He’s the original “tiny person” which is what I call all very small kiddos.  Somehow it stuck and I just call him tiny.  I went into his kindergarten class Friday walked by him touched his head and said, “hi tiny”.  

Whoops. 

The boy across from him caught it immediately.  “Tiiinnneeeyy?? (insert laughter) He’s not tiny” I could see panic on Jared’s face…  To which I quickly replied, “he’s tinier than me, and so are you, so your tiny too.”   He seemed to accept that answer and moved on.  Phew. 

My slightly less than tiny person turned 6 this month.  He is the coolest kid.  With him I learned never to laugh when he played pretend, or when he told me he was a kung Fu master, or sang me a made up song.  He was my third try and I finally realized I was only hindering if I didn’t play along in complete seriousness and support.  He is very self conscious with the rest of the world, but never with me.  I love that he lets me into his world and is comfortable with me there. 

I take advantage of every hug, kiss, snuggle, giggle, and laugh that I can because I know they will get scarce. But fingers crossed he is a mama’s boy forever.  I love you tiny person.

 

If my walls could talk they would say WAKE UP!

You know that moment you can never remember right as you fall asleep?  Yeah, I did that standing up. While walking.  At the kids school, and only realized it when I side swiped the stuccoed wall.  I’m not sure how well I pulled off that I just lost my balance… 

I’ve run into a few walls in my life.  It’s that same feeling, you don’t realize you fell asleep until something hard wakes you up.  And I think it’s that same feeling when you swipe that wall, that you suddenly realize you lost your balance and you wonder how many people noticed how far gone you were. 

Most recently I have lost my balance on time management.  I got pretty ambitious, signed all three kids up for sports,  two for piano, and one for art class.  Thought it would be fun to coach Lainy’s soccer team (no, I have never even played soccer), be team mom for another, volunteer in each of their classes every week, take an institute class (bible study), and joined the gym.  It all worked super until I actually had to DO it.  My wall on this one was thankfully a relatively soft one.

You make me sick. And not sick.

I have a nasty, crusty, mean, just awful attitude tonight.   And it’s all their fault.  They took my kind hearted, funny, silly, all around wonderful 10 year old from me.  I hope you never have a cause to meet these awful… nuisances.  Because they will flip your life upside down and make you cry.  They take perfectly normal emotions and jump up and down on them until they squeeze tears out of you.  I hate them.  And the only reason I keep them around is because they keep my kind hearted, funny, silly and wonderful 10 year old alive during September thru May.  They make you mean, and make you say awful things to your mom that make her cry.  Words that were once loving, are spiteful and hard.  I want to never have them in my home again.  But their the only thing that make the asthma go away…

I hate you steroids.

It was a grizzly fight

This young man got his Bear last night at scouts. 

(I know, nice sweat bands, but he insists they are cool)

 

Yeah this was the best shot I got of him afterwards.   He had the wrestle the “bear” in the “cave” (thank you Bro Neilson!)  and come out with a token to show for it.  (That’s the bear claw in his hand) 

We are still getting our feet under us in this new ward and it made my heart happy that this went so well. 

Also, to my Jayce:  You have always been a funny kid.  Not always in control or your timing, but always funny.  At the ripe old age of 10, you are well on your way to conquering the gift of comedic timing.  I laughed pretty hard last night kiddo!  I am so proud of you and how hard you have worked for this.  Keep going!  I love you! 

Too many first/lasts

My three not so tiny people started school this week.

 

New house, new ward, new school, new friends.  There was a lot of anxiety floating around.  But we made it.  With zero tears.  Not even from ME!  All came home happy and full of chatter.   Though the house was quiet and lonely, I found that I quite enjoyed a lot of it.  I didn’t prepare properly to accept that it was ok for me to enjoy my time and not just measure it’s success.  I miss my babies terribly when they leave.  I know that won’t change, but I realize I am an important person to invest time in, and I have a list of things I want to tackle.

 

This little guy lost his first tooth tonight.  I almost cried.  My need to express joy in his momentous occasion overpowered that thankfully.  The overwhelming thought filled my mind, this is the last first lost tooth.  It seems trivial, but I already sent my last child to kindergarten this week.  It hardly seemed fair that I had to check another growing- up-too-fast moment off my mom list this week.  To add salt to the wound, I didn’t even get to pull it.  He pulled the dang thing out himself. 

Weekends have a whole new appeal these days…

Jason Mraz aids my testimony

I love the song by Jason Mraz called “I won’t give up”      If you haven’t really listened the the lyrics, take a minute and read them through.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.
I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

It reminded me that the relationships that are the most important to me take work, and that I would miss out on so much if I had quit at one time or another on a friend, family member, or spouse.  But this week when I was driving home from the grocery store (that’s how I know it was important, I remember what I was doing exactly) this song came on and the thought popped into my head that my relationship with my Father in Heaven applies to most of this song as well.   I am surprised that it affected my testimony in such an unexpected way.  What a reminder to me that He won’t give up on me and I need to work harder at not giving up on my end.  So there ya go.

Don’t forget to fill your own cup

My family always asks if I am taking dinner to someone (who had a baby, illness, death in the family etc) when I make a salad with dinner and a dessert. 

The lessons for whatever class I am teaching at church are always more elaborate than the family home evenings I plan for my kids. 

When company is coming,  I go into spic n span mode.  It has to sparkle. 

Meg and I were shopping together today (without kids.  It was so fun!) and had a fleeting conversation about organ donation.  I am an organ donor.  I’m not sure when in my mind and heart I began to feel that desire, but I do.   I know some day my body will be restored to a perfect state, but while I’m not using it, I love the idea of allowing someone else to learn and grow and love for a while longer.   So, while watching one of those surgery drama shows tonight, the thought crossed my mind, “oh my word, someone might need my heart-kidneys-lungs-etc someday… I have got to take better care of my body!”  

So, why is it that when someone else is going to be using it, seeing it, (living with it?) that it needs to be a lot more special than what I give myself and my family?  

As I have gotten older I have not only grown in height (and weight!) but in confidence, and I think it’s high time I start making dinner with salad and dessert,  spending more time on family home evenings, making my house sparkle and taking better care of my body because darn it,  my family (and my organs) are overdue.

Daily Gem

Each day via email, I get a “daily gem” from LDS.org.   I used to delete some of them without reading them due to the hustle and bustle or a full inbox and the desire to clean it out quickly.   A few months ago I realized that each day there were words from God being sent through my email!  (I know, duh Julia)  Some days it was just nice to read loving inspirational words, but on days like today the words spoke to my soul.  This blog is for my children and someday they will need this as I do. 

"In reality, there aren’t many things in a day that are totally without significance. Even the mundane and repetitious can be tiny but significant building blocks that in time establish the discipline and character and order needed to realize our plans and dreams. Therefore, as you ask in prayer for your daily bread, consider thoughtfully your needs—both what you may lack and what you must protect against. As you retire to bed, think about the successes and failures of the day and what will make the next day a little better. And thank your Heavenly Father for the manna He has placed along your path that sustained you through the day."   —D. Todd Christofferson

I am new to days filled with only my children.  For years my poor kids were given only the time I had in small gaps between work and making sure the house didn’t swallow us up in undone laundry and other such things.  I don’t feel as though most days are “mundane and repetitious” but I have forgotten to remember to watch for my tiny daily blessings that create these building blocks to my dreams.  And to thank my Heavenly Father “for the manna He has placed along your path that sustained you through the day."

My daily prayers are often a mixture of please please please, thank you, please please please and a grey area of thought that is what I imagine, worry and stress without specific words to go with it. Thank you Elder Christofferson for reminding me to speak clearly when I pray… “as you ask in prayer for your daily bread, consider thoughtfully your needs—both what you may lack and what you must protect against” 

Beautiful.