Muddling

I thought this story was good enough that required a blog post out of it. Enjoy.

Muddling Along by Janene Wolsey Baadsgaard

Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you’d stayed in bed? I remember a day like that. The dishwasher had malfunctioned, flooding our house all night as we slept. We didn’t know until one of our sleepy-eyed children came into our bedroom early in the morning and said, “Mom and Dad! It’s raining in the basement!” The room that was hardest hit was the storage room where we’d recently carefully stacked and dated our pride and joy, a two-year supply of food. In a mad dash to save anything we could, every member of our family hauled each bucket and box out into the back yard to dry out. It took hours. Just when we finished, we heard a clap of thunder, looked up, and felt several drops splash in our eyes. Then the heavens were opened and the few drops immediately became a downpour. We regrouped and quickly hauled our soggy mess into the garage. When we finally got every box and bucket into the garage, my son came running to me in tears, informing me his pet rabbit was dead. After finally getting the children off to school, my daughter called from campus saying she couldn’t remember where she’d parked the car at college. Then my other first-grader had an accident that required a change of clothing. You get the picture. “I can’t handle any more,” I said to my husband.
“You don’t have to handle it,” my husband replied. “There’s no rule book somewhere that says you have to go through life handling everything. Just muddle, Jan. I’ve been muddling for years and no one can tell the difference.” Muddle, I thought. I think I can muddle. Now every time I’m feeling overwhelmed, I remember my husband’s timely advice. Frankly, I’ve been muddling ever since and so far no one can tell the difference, just like he promised. I remember a day when I walked into the kitchen to find my young son surrounded by the large white buckets where I stored our flour, sugar, and pasta. He was busy scooping— sugar into the flour—rice into the sugar—pasta into the rice. The whole kitchen looked like a white billowing cloud except for my son’s innocent grin and two large blue eyes staring up at me. “Look, Mom. I’m the bread maker!” my young son said as he looked up at me. Suddenly it dawned on me that whenever I made bread I pulled out all the white buckets and started scooping. He was trying to be like me. My feelings of frustration melted into love. I was so proud of him for trying. As we got busy cleaning the kitchen, I realized God loves us like that. No matter how big the mess or mistake we’ve made, God provides us with a Savior to help us clean it up. That is the essence of muddling. Muddling is not mediocrity. Muddling allows us to stop keeping up appearances or worrying that we’ll never measure up. Muddling is accepting our humanness and inadequacies. Muddling is realizing there are some messes only Christ can clean up. And muddling is seeing our worth through God’s eyes and never giving up hope that things will work out.

Organization is the key

I am in charge of organizing Jason's school life and homework so he just has to do it. Somehow, I managed to create more chaos than order this time. I didn't bother to go through his syllabus and read what book he actually needed. Just heard Jason say the name of it and ordered it online. Great! The book was ordered and would arrive in a few days. 2 weeks later... still no book. The girl calls and says the book got lost in the mail and for me to file a claim for it. I did so. And I ordered another one from another seller. In the meantime, the 'lost' book shows up on my porch. Sigh. As if that's not irratating enough. It's the wrong book. I had ordered the wrong book. Twice. Now, 4 weeks into the semester and Jason still with no book is passing the class somehow. I pull out all the paperwork from his teacher (finally) and look up the correct book and order yet again. All is well now, and silver lining- I put the incorrectly ordered books up on half.com and sold one already! I have certainly learned a valuable lesson. Pay attention. It pays off.

It's 105 and they are COLD??

It's getting pretty warm here in AZ and trying to keep the kids busy and out of the house is no small feat. So, we took the kids up the the mall to play on the splash pad to cool off and get some energy burnt off. They had a grand time trying to hold the water in the ground and getting soaked in the meantime.

If it's possible in 105 degree weather the kids got cold being so wet. So, we went to the playground next to the splash pad to play and let them dry off in the sun. Before long their shivers stopped and they jumped and climbed to their little hearts delight.

Lainy found this sign first. Nothing fancy, just the playground rules. She must have thought it was pretty special since I found her kissing it, and then as we examined a little closer, LICKING the sign. Ugh. Of course, like a lunatic I ran screaming to her trying to startle her enough to stop. Jared wanted in on the fun and began kissing the sign as well. What is so special about the stinkin sign??

Be good to your Daughters

So, obviously from my previous post you can tell it's been a rough week. I realize now that the storm has passed, how much of the problem was within me. Jason and I had some much needed quiet time together while the kids had a babysitter, and I had a chance to reflect on my parenting strategy as of late. I knew when I woke each morning in recent weeks, that my patience meter was running on low even before the mornings began, but somehow managed to convince myself that it was my children at fault for the way the day turned out.

I feel myself being pulled out of the impatience zone and slowly making my way back to the reality of good parenting. I told Jason tonight that I can tell the overall volume in my house gets louder when I choose to yell at the kids instead of assessing the problem. And I feel as though (and I sure you do too after reading so many posts about it) this is a revolving issue for me, and probably always will be.

Tonight I heard the song Daughters by John Mayer (check my playlist) and it hit me. This is not so much about me. This is so much about these amazing souls whose presence I been blessed with. They deserve the best of the best I can possibly give, each and every moment of each and every day. These are children who will be facing things in thier life that I can't even imagine facing. It is my job to help prepare them for it. Man, it's moments like these that I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father, it makes all of that reponsibility seem do-able and not quite so daunting, knowing you have someone like Him in control of things.

Today I am done.

I am done washing

I am done folding

I am done dusting

I am done scrubbing

I am done weaving

I am done coloring

I am done cutting

I am done styling

I am done screaming

I am done crying

I am done venting.

Mad hatter

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!

(this was in Primary when we sang to these two. I didn't realize that the birthday hats looked so much like the mad hatter!)

Moderation in all things

When they talk about having moderation in all things, they mean books for someone like me. THIS is why I don't read! Books like this one. It is phenomenal. And it comsumes me until every page has been devoured. (no pun intended with this particular book) Anyhow, 500 pages in a 24 hour period and you can imagine what my house and children look like. And of course there's a sequel.

Distracted

Completely engrossed in my current reading choice this morning (that I woke up at 5 am to read. Nice) I almost jumped in to save Lainy from her brother repeatedly smacking her on the head while walking in circles. As I yanked my brain back into reality, I watched for a moment and realized he was saying "dut (smack) dut (turn) dut (turn) dut (smack)" He never did get to goose, and Lainy never did seem to mind. I guess he learned something new in nursery this week.

Dye job

I thought it was time to vocalize my thoughts on my job as a hair dresser. I know my job includes so much vanity and is purly a voluntary non-necessity. But I love it. It has never been something I aspired to be, it kindof fell in my lap. I needed some schooling under my belt before a kid came along.

The best part of it all, is the blessings of friendship that came with it. Doing someone's hair for 2 hours gives you a lot of talk time. (I know a lot about a lot of people) I have met some really amazing (and interesting) people just because they needed to spice things up in the hair dept.

And all of this is done in the comfort of my own home. My grandma did hair in her back room when my dad was a kid. She was a single mom and did it for survival. I never dreamt that would be me someday. Although I don't do it for survival, it does come in handy when you need some extra dough. And when you are getting ready for church and realize your kids look like shag rugs.

As simple a profession that it is, I know it is something I am supposed to be doing, and there are open doors that exist in my life that would not have otherwise and life changing friendships.

What Disney Princess are you?

I am Pocahantas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Productive parenting

Why do we tell our kids not to fight with one another and yet we as adults have yet to learn the concept?

It's things like this that make me feel all the more inadaquate as a parent. What makes me qualified to teach a child something I have yet to master?

As I watched my children being disciplined for fighting this morning, it was if a light went on and the wheels started churning. We have to stop and regroup our parenting stradegies sometimes. I get in a groove where I find myself saying the same things over and over to my children in response to a bad behavior and of course, since I have to repeat it so many times, it's obviously not productive. I thought to myself, instead of just telling my kids to stop fighting, or yelling at them for yelling, I need to teach them that yes, it is ok to have an arguement or a disagreement with one another. Teach them the things I have learned in my own marrige. To fight fair and argue a true point.

I have realized watching my children and others with older kids, that this generation of parents has to be smarter. We have to be more creative and learn what our children are learning in order to be an effective parent. A swat or a 'go to your room, your grounded" just isn't going to cut it anymore.

Back to the Beach

We thought it would be logical to leave at 9 PM Thursday night and have a nice peaceful drive while the children slept. The theory was good. 2 hours in I got really sleepy. And before I could mention that to Jason, I noticed his eyes were getting a little glassy. It's times like these when you are forced to conversate or die, that you have the most interesting conversations. We talked until 1:30 AM and pulled over to sleep.


We spent the whole day Friday at Jess and Christina's. We all went to breakfast and went swimming in a heated swimming pool. I didn't even care that I had just spend 30 minutes doing my hair and makeup! It was a heated pool!!





Later that day we headed out to McGrath state beach to set up camp. Yes, we went tent camping. I can safely say that will not happen again anytime in the near future. Our good friends the Kayci and Shannon and thier kids came with us camping. We love them.

We all walked down to the beach the next morning about 8 am to check out the beach and see how long a walk it would be with all of our 'gear' because gone are the days of grabbing a towel and a bag of Doritos and heading out. I am estimating that it was about a mile walk through stick ridden sand down to the shore. By the time we actually arrived to the shore, the kids were muttering about how much they hated the beach. Needless to say we got in the car and drove to another beach the days following.

We met up with Scottie and old friend of mine while we were there and my dear friend from high school Alaina. Lainy's namesake. It was good to see thier faces again.

All in all the kids had a grand time, Jayce was the only one who got burned pretty bad. It's a week later and it's still pretty bad. Poor little white boy. I have to say, it is nice to be tan again. We did see something I had never seen at beach in all the hundreds of times I was there as a kid. Jellyfish! There were a couple of them that had washed up on the shore.

It's good to be home. I didn't realize what a beautiful place I grew up in until this trip. I don't think I will even get the chance to live there again, not even sure if I would want to, but it was nice to visit for a while.

Got Milk?

If you are anything like my family you just can't envision a year without milk right? I have been stumped by the dillemma of how to stock a year supply of milk. I just can't bring myself to buy a year's worth of the powdered stuff. Gag.

Lo and Behold I think I have found something. Well, I hould say I have been introduced to something. Gossner milk. My sister in Logan had mentioned the local dairy up there called Gossner foods. And I didn't think twice about it. A week or so later as I was praying for help with my food storage and for ideas and the gift of organization etc... I ran into a friend of mine who is a distributer for the stuff!! I should explain what it is, for those of you who are not familiar. It is milk that has been put through a special heating process and packaged in a way that has a room temp shelf life of 1-2 years!!

I ordered about a 3 month supply. (white milk, chocolate, strawberry and root beer flavors. I know, but it's delish!) So, my kids tried it for the first time yesterday... I have to put it up high so they don't get into it all day!! It's fantastic. Just google it if you want more info!

That kind of mom

I want to be the kind of mom who wants to color with her children.

I want to be the kind of mom who hugs you even though you have made a mistake.

I want to be the kind of mom who helps you clean up nail polish in the carpet so dad won't be mad

I want to be the kind of mom who makes a cake every Sunday

I want to be the kind of mom who gets all the towels in the house wet, strings the hose up the balcony and pretends the waterbed burst for an april fools joke on dad

I want to be the kind of mom who sits on the floor with me and my sister and wonders why I didn't tell her about my first kiss.

I want to be the kind of mom who starts a marshmellow fight in the kitchen

I want to be the kind of mom who has 5 children and somehow each of them thinks they are the favorite

I want to be the kind of mom who will do anything for her child

I want to be the kind of mom who's children can't hear her and dad fight because they take it somewhere else

I want to be the kind of mom who buys boardwalk fries everytime you hit the mall

I want to be the kind of mom who's love for the Savior is so strong it's visable in everything she does

I want to be the kind of mom who's house is open to those who need it

I want to be the kind of mom that my mom has been to me

The Fence
There was a little boy with a bad temper.
His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that everytime he lost his temper,
to hammer a nail in the back fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Then it gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now
pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.
The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Yup, there once was a boy with a temper, so I decided to give it a go with Jayce. I don't have a wood fence so I had to drag a pallet out onto the driveway. We have a handful of nails hammered in today. Now that he has the hang of it, he keeps asking for more nails. I am hoping it will get old and he will not enjoy this punishment so much. My guess is, once it hits about 115 degrees he will gain control of that temper of his.

If the shoe fits

I love this kid. We have our moments. But I love this kid. He came around the corner walking on his heels so as not to disturb the barbie sized army boots carefully placed on each of his toes.

New found friends

And reunited with past ones. We traveled (yes, traveled. It took an hour) to Avondale last weekend to visit Esther and Ben. It was long overdue, and I must say I missed my friend! The kids played together as if they had known each other forever. We talked for hours and as you can see, the kids crashed on the way home. I had good intentions when I stuck the camera in my bag to take pictures of all of us together, but got lost in reminiscing until the drive home. No crazy stories here, just blogging the experience.

Better kisser at 3

If you recall Lainy had a dental appointment a few weeks ago and returned last week to fix a tooth. They gave her laughing gas, which did nothing but relax her. I was bracing myself for some pretty funny convos. She did have a numbness for a few hours, which turned out to be rather humerous. She didn't think much of the numb lip until the ride home when her nose had an itch. As she proceeded to scratch, she realized she couldn't relieve the itching. She panicked. She began screaming that her nose itched and it wasn't working. I calmly tried to explain that that part of her face had fallen asleep. She understood as much as a 3 year old can. Once we got home, realized she was a much better 'kisser' with a bum lip. She wandered around making kissing noises for quite some time. As you can see, it is much like a shower singer. You think you are much better than you sound, or in this case look.

Red white and blessings of Blue

Tonight we were snuggled in the couch reading a couple of new books a sweet client had brought for my kids, and Jayce was reading to Lainy. Out of my 5 year olds mouth came this:

"We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

Now I know they say the pledge everyday at school, but I cannot put words to how impressed and grateful I am to his teachers for teaching Jayce something more about our country. Patriotism is something many people fall short of in this country, and I want my children to know how truly blessed they are to have born into freedom. I have always enjoyed seeing the colors of our flag, but I have come to love and admire what it stands for and the sacrifices that have been made in it's behalf. Now I know many things are array in this beloved country of ours these days, but truly we should express gratitude to the Lord for the blessing it is to raise a family and live in this great country.

No title is worthy

I considered several titles to this blog, but realized, you cannot encompass the things that happened in the last 3 days in such small writing space. I won't even include the real reason I went to Utah in this blog. It's much too important to be intertwined with what I experienced.

I began my journey well, I got hit on in the airport. Alright! That's always a self esteem booster. Although it's more fun to factor into the conversation your 3 children and husband. I made it to the plane and found a seat next to a delighful grandma. We chatted a bit, and she reached in the pocket in front of her to retrieve the skymall magazine, and then begins to giggle. And then laugh out loud and point to it, and tell me I should look. That I will never believe what is in it. Nice. Women's pink underwear, stuffed in the magazine pocket. Ugh! ew ew ew.

So, after the plane I call shannon who is running late because they had to turn back around and get thier temple recommends for the sealing. Crap, my recommend. So began the phone calls to the appropriate people to get me in.

Poppleton's arrived to pick me up in record time, and idle chatter somehow turned the conversation to the realization that I had forgotten to pack myself underwear. Oh for crying in the night. I just knew this trip was going to be memorable.

We did thankfully get all of that squared away, and I had a lovely time with my little sister Meg until she asked me to accompany her to the bakery to pick up the cake. A nice old (I like to think he was senile) man and his daughter entered the bakery. Meg had Andrew, her 2 year old propped up next to her very pregnant belly as the man approached her and with a hand on her shoulder proceeded with these words " Oh, I think this little guy looks a little bit like his mommy and his grandma." Needless to say 'Gramma Lu' was mentioned once or twice that weekend.

My first trip away without children or a husband and I anticipated a glorious homecoming. The kids piled out of the car at my mom's and in place of the hugs and laughter what I got was, "Hi mom, can we play at grammy's?" Nice.