Detachment Bliss

Yesterday was my Lainybugs first day of preschool. What a difference having a child that jumps out of the car, waves good bye and heads in the door with out a glance back. (I would prefer a little glance, and maybe an extra hug) but the kid has been like this since the day she was born. I actually tried to see if there was someone she wouldn't go to as a baby and toddler. I never found one. She readily jumped into any waiting arms. She has become more hesitant in the last year, but has kept her confident attitude. Love you Lainy!

Bathtime

M: Lainy, dry off and go in your room and get dressed.

L: Mom, I don't have any underwear in my drawer, but don't look ok?

Apparently she doesn't like wearing them.

Spontaneous Delight

After dinner was finished and the dishes were being cleared, on popped the radio as it does some days. A squeal flew from my mouth as one of my favorite 80's dancing songs came on. Everyone came to inspect the reason behind the sudden noise. Mom was dancing! (Mom's always dancing, this was nothing new) but tonight it was a family affair. We laughed easily and had smiles all around. Jayce showed a natural talent in taking Lainy as his partner and swinging her from side to side and then surprised us (and her!) with a swift spin and dip! 5 or 6 songs later mom and dad peetered out, but the kids are still dancing away! A simple and spontaneous family home evening! I love the laughter of happy children.

Fresh in my head

I have a lot of thoughts concerning of most recent stake confrence that was held this weekend. Pres Richardson came to our ward last week and gave a form of a pep talk to remind us of the importance of the meeting the following week.

Don't miss the opportunity to pray about the most important things in your life and have them matched by the prayers of those who will be speaking and praying about what to speak on.

It stuck. I suddenly felt that stressful feeling creep in and felt the urge to get on my knees and pray so I didn't miss out on the opportunity.

Jason went to the Priestood session saturday and Laurie, Heather and I met the men afterward for a quick meal and then the adult session that night. Yes, No children. It was a needed night of spiritual boosting. I will touch on a few subjects that hung onto my thoughts more than others.

Stake Relief Societ Pres, Sis Winters:

I felt when she was speaking that she was just teaching me. She began by relaying a story of harships that her daughter had faced, and man she was dealt a hard playing hand. But what she said next was nothing short of inspired.

You must decide how you will deal with the trials you are given. Since we are all given trials. They are necessary to grow stronger. Christlike qualities won't be gained another way.

She then said that her family decided that they wouldn't refer to trials as hardships any longer, but hard blessings. How appropriate!

Pray always. Identify blessings everyday. Teach your children to identify blessings everyday. She told a short story of picking up her grandson from school one day and asked how his day was. He proceeded to tell her each good thing that had happened to him that day and nothing more. She in turn, asked her daughter why he never mentioned anything negative about his day and her daughter said that when she picks up her children she always asks 'what good thing happened today' for the first few days it took a little thinking, but after that, her children leanred to be prepared and think of those things so they would be ready when she asked. What a simple thing we can do for our children and ourselves and it's repercussions will be generationally astounding!

Learn from the past, live in the present, and prepare for the future. It is never necessary to place blame. Grief turns to anger, anger to resentment. When you talk of we/us as a couple or a family unit and what is happening in your life, we/us needs to include Heavenly Father. Look at your hard blessings in a celestial perspective.

President Richardson (Sunday session)

First, I LOVE our stake presidency. They are inspired, intelligent, funny and have something most all other presidencies do not have. A binding friendship. Comradery. They seem to be the best of friends. And you can feel it.

He spoke on doing a million things at once and feeling guilty for not being about to do it all simultaneously. He read off a list of things on any given day a woman/wife/mother would need to do. He asked 'How do you balance these things?' Guilt creeps in. After everything cannot possibly get done. He said so much more, but what I remember is that he specifially talked about the Holy Ghost and that he would never use guilt once the Atonement is enveloped. The Holy Ghost does not use guilt as a tool, Satan does. (If I could underline this next part I would) "Guilt is reserved for sin. NOT as a motivator." It hit me like a ton of bricks.

He then began talking about behavior and attitude. He said there is no excuse for bad behavior and bad attitude. You cannot place blame for your own bad behavior and attitude. The Iron rod is covered with hard blessings. But you know it's the path that is watched over by our Heavenly Father.

When Pres Richardson first came to our ward the week before confrence, he said that an added blessing of the meeting would be that we may change what we prayed about after hearing the words spoken there. I have.

I got it at Jared's

This kid can bring a smile to your face even in his most miserable hour. I can't help but run for my camera when he goes into pouty mode. There are very few moments when it gets past this stage. If you couldn't see him (which is dangerous. See Jared), you would most times not notice his presence. So quiet. So sweet. He loves to snuggle and though it takes a while for him to warm up to a new person, once he is warmed, you are a forever friend.

He is not a people pleaser. You will not usually get a smile, kiss, hug or high five unless he feels it necessary. But when he chooses to smile, is lights up his whole little face.

Spot the wild one

My little doggie 'Flapjack' is never without a toy to chew on or bat around. Some days I wonder is he isn't just a hybrid in dog species, but possibly part kitty. His favorite sleeping grounds are on the top of the couch cushions, much like a cat would perch. He brought me a bird and so carefully left it on the mat on the porch.

Last weekend I was doing hair and the kids ran in breathless and excited and could hardly get the words from thier mouths without bursting at the seams. Each took turns filling in words where the other had missed. "Mom! Flapjack... outside... dad... bucket... And dad said we can keep it!!" I soon found out the dog was caught playing patty cake with a terrified gopher. I am not sure how he caught or kept it within his playing field, but Jason managed to get it into a bucket. Of course the kids were thrilled when dad said they could keep it. For an hour, I said. I later found Jason in his closet twidling with his paintball gun.

No target practice, I said.

Of course he was only making sure it was working. He would never do that (his words). A few minutes later, it was gone from the bucket.

Jayce casually mentioned later that 'Did I see what dad did with the bucket?'

He made a motion much like you would of you were throwing water from a bucket onto a fire.

Tell your friends Gopher.

Does he not look like a coyote?

Baby fever anyone?

This is my little nephew Carter, and if any baby was going to give me baby fever, it would be this one! Of course, I am not infected with this fever of love, but thought I would share some of the beautiful pictures he was included in!

Messy Toys

Keep pile.

Pack up and save for later pile.

Give away pile.

And finally trash pile.

This foam mat popped up in line. It went into the pack for later pile. ( I pack up about half of my kids toys in boxes until a day comes when I need them quiet and viola! New toys.) Jared kept pulling this horrible toy from the stack and running off with it. Of course I chased him and pryed it from his little hands, knowing I would be finding pieces strewn throughout my house that night. This happened 4-5 times before I realized the insanity of it. HELLO!? He is a kid and it's only 10 pieces!!!! It was a parenting moment for me. Sometimes I need to just let it go.

First day of first grade

And a peaceful one at that! I geared myself up for an emotional morning, such as the one I experienced last year. He is growing up. My Jayce is learning to control his temper and keep his flying limbs inside the cart at all times. He is joyful and happy in the morning and even has a hop in his step when he walks in the door after school!!

We had family pictures done last weekend and Jayce had a hard time being natural leaning against the rock like his cousins did so comfortably, so when I told him we were taking pictures for the first day of school he wanted to find a good spot to 'lean' on.

This was his first year getting to eat lunch at school and is learning by trial and error. He has always been a bit pokey about eating and mentioned that he has a 'fast' lunch time. Today he didn't get a chance to finish his pudding and wanted to save it for later... in AZ that makes for some very messy chocolate soup.

Will I ever learn?

Things Jared has dumped out this week...

• Every toy bin in the toy room (more than once)


• full container of cinnamon


• full container of pumpkin pie spice


• half a canister of seasoned bread crumbs


• a box of noodles


• a cupful of bath water into my lap


• the dog food from the food bowl into the water bowl


• each day at least one meal a day is deliberatly dumped onto the floor

In the process of writing this post, wouldn't you know it, he dumped out the bag of dog food.

Inny or outy?

Cousins came to town last week and the kids did a lot of swimming. Rylee and Lainy were connected at the hip. So, I wasn't surprised when Lainy joined Rylee while they suited up for the pool. As Rylee was getting her suit on Lainy squealed with delight "Oh! I like your belly button!" Lainy has an inny, Rylee has an outy, which apparently Lainy has never seen and likes!

Car freshener? Nope, just Jared.

We should all be so lucky as my 3rd child. As long as I can remember (which is questionable these days) Jared has always had a unique scent. I should preface this with the knowledge that I have an uncanny sense of smell. I can smell things most cannot. Quite possibly this superhuman quality I possess is all in my mind, but just go with it.

A few months ago after smelling him for quite some time, I finally pinned down the scent. Pine. Or a tree of some sort. Mostly it's his breath, but sometimes it is his skin. I know, weird. Thats's what I said when I first started smelling it. I am fairly sure that he isn't supplementing his diet with any household plants or outdoor vegetation. I couldn't grow something if my life depended on it. And we have no landscaping.

I think the kid just got lucky to have piney fresh breath naturally!

Honesty in all things...

Once a month my friend steffani and I get together at my house and do one anothers hair. For my children, it's an "if you can reach it, you can eat it" day. And my house is in demolition mode for a few hours. Steffani was rushing out the door this afternoon and Lainy, always a helper, opened the front door for her and as it was closing the words "She has a big butt!" fly from her lips. I quickly yank the door back open, and Steffani replies "oh! That girl needs a good smack on the butt" Of course, with a smile on her face! Man, I haven't laughed that hard in a while!

J- Mom? We need to give Lainy away.

M- Why?

J- She was rolling her ABC toy worm around and it hit my foot and really hurt!

M- Soooo, we are just going to give her away? Where?

J- Outside, just outside.

M- for how long?

J- 2 days.

M- What will she eat or drink? Where will she sleep?

J- We'll just put stuff out out there for her like what we eat.

M- Like a dog?

He walked away after that- that is what I like to call talking it out. Once reason set in (and his foot stopped hurting) it wasn't worth arguing with mom.

ABC's

A * Age: 28

B * Birthday: 11-24

C * Cake or candy: If it's on the table (or chair, or even sometimes the floor), I will eat either one!

D * Desserts I love: White cake with white icing. Choc chip cookie dough ice cream. Or Butterfinger mixed with sweet cream ice cream from Cold Stone.

E * Easiest Person to Talk to: Dare I list them? I'm quite a talker.

F * Favorite Song: I am a Cranberries fan

G * Gold or Silver: Silver

H * Habit: Everytime I walk by the computer I sit and check my mail. This is exceptionally bad since my office and laundry room occupy the same space!

I* Instruments you play: Does snapping your fingers to get kids attention count?

J * Job Title: Mom

K * Kiddos: 3

L * Lust or Love: OR???
M * Married, Single, or Taken: married- And no one takes me- thank you.

N * Next to you: I just cleaned off my desk. It's been a good day.

O * One Wish: "A Happy happy birthday to you from me" Sorry, it came to me.

P * Person you called last: In a yell or on the phone?

Q * Quote: Oh, for crying in the night

R * Reason to smile: A smile for a smile. Try not to smile when your kid smiles at you! It's tough.

S * Steak or Pork: I'm with Laurie, Chicken takes all.

T * Turns you on: N/A (nice question!)

U * Unique Talent: Unique unique... I am pretty sure there is someone else who can do everything I can!

V * Veggie: pass (with my nose plugged)

W * woke up at: 7:30! Woo hoo!!

X * X-rays: Yes, sign me up- I would love xray vision!

Y * Your favorite color: Yellow has always been my fav color and I will always remember Pres Monson's comment on his own fav color... "Yellow is the printer’s color. It’s the color that gives life to all of the other colors. I think it’s interesting that we’d all have nothing but blue grass if it were not for yellow. But also it’s the quickest color to fade. I haven’t figured that one out yet. I’ll see a picture on the wall, and I instantly know whether the yellow is starting to fade from that picture because, all of a sudden, all of the tones of the others aren’t as bright as they should be."

Z * Zodiac sign: Sag

I was tagged by Laurie and now pass the tag to YOU!

The bomb

Conversation overheard in the toyroom:

Jayce: C'mon! They're going to get us!

Lainy: Ok! Hurry Jayce!

Jayce: Oh no! They have bombs!

Lainy: (a pause) I'm th' bomb

Living for the good days

Nothing spectacular to post, just wanted to post some good things of the day...

My kids LOVE these! I wondered how they would taste when I saw them advertised, 5 stars from this mom!

Clean floors. I hadn't found time to mop my floors in weeks. Yes, that's what I said, weeks. I love having clean floors and being able to walk barefoot through the house. I have no carpet in my house and a lot of dirt outside which makes for some non-barefoot friendly walking. Today I am barefoot!

And of course, the kicker for having a fantastic morning, Lainy letting me do her hair!! I had to keep it simple and quick! She tried for the whining, but I nipped that quickly in the bud. She had no choice but defeat. Once her tight scalp grew numb, she was good!

Do's and Don'ts

Family home evening last night was one of those planned out of necessity. My house is regularly filled with disrespect, children without boundaries,and a mother who can't seem to follow through. Here is what I came up with:

DO'S

1. Eat at the table
2. Share your things
3. Speak respectfully
4. Give hugs and kisses
5. Be quiet during a phone call

DON'Ts

1. Kick or hit
2. Scream or whine
3. Bite or spit
4. Neener neener or name call

Each of these is illustrated with a cartoon explaining each rule. As I have the children sitting in the chairs surrounding the pantry door where my new rules were recently posted I realized I had never come up with consequences. Darn. I had to think fast. I said a little prayer and thought I would ask the kids for their opinion...

" Jayce, what will happen if you Scream, whine, bite, spit, neener neener, or name call?"

"umm, soap in your mouth?" Fantastic, sounded good to me.

"yes, good."

"Lainy, what will happen if you hit your brother?"

"Umm, You will give us a swat on the butt?"

Not so effective in the past, and what came out of mouth next was sheer brilliance.

"No, if you can't use your hands and arms in the correct way, you will not be able to use them at all. If you hit someone, I will tie your hands behind your back for a period of time."

I was impressed.

"And if you kick someone, you will have your feet tied together."

Today I had my chance. Jayce kicked Lainy late this afternoon and I found an old piece of fabric and tied those skinny little legs together. Of course, he laughed and hopped around a bit. It had been about an hour, and Lainy came to me and said

"Mom? I kicked Jayce" Jayce is nodding his obvious agreement.

"Lainy go play."

"But mom, I kicked Jayce, you need to tie my legs together"

"Lainy, I know you didn't really kick Jayce"

"hit?"

"No Lainy"

"punched?"

"No, Lainy!"

"But I really want to be tied up!"

Grrrr.

The best things in life are free

After spending 15 minutes in the 'hair chair' my masterpiece for the day was finished. Lainy was not convinced. Her hair was 'too tight' and the phrase 'I hate it' was used loosely. She cried and complained just long enough for me to lose my patience as I hoisted her back up in the hair chair and proceeded to yank and cut out the carefully placed bands, until it was a mess and pointedly said 'See? Now it's ugly.' She practically leap from the chair and ran to show Jayce.

I heard a cheery voice sing " Jayce! Look at my hair! It's sooo ugly!" And then, "THANKS MOM!"

Sigh.

Honorary Native

You know you have lived in AZ long enough to be given an honerary native stamp when your husband brings this baby to you in a bucket and your response is "whoa, cool." This is by far the largest scorpian we have found yet. We had a nice rain storm last night and I imagine he was seeking shelter on my front porch. Thankfully he had already gotten into the poison and is nearly dead. Although I picked a card I don't need anytime soon, I wasn't going to chance him using his last breath to sting me while I retrieved it.

Picking Blueberries

Yet another powdery mess to add to my list. I realize I have done this enough times that I don't even feel a flare of my temper. I'm growing! Apparently so are my children, since Jared could reach this box of Blueberry pankcake mix to dump onto the floor.

This was not a picture in motion. He was balancing quite well to show me the bottom of his feet. He looks a little like a wobbly ballerina.

I did it!

This will be added to the small list of things I have done right as a mother. Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches for lunch today. I try my hardest to find at least healthy bread for my kids, and they don't seem to mind the whole wheat flour. But today I had a few pieces of white bread leftover (Jason prefers the white) and as I set them in front of the kids to eat, I heard... "I HATE white bread!"

Happy Birthday Jayce!

I can't believe you have been in our lives for 6 whole years!! Let me share a few things about you that have happened in that time.

• You were stubborn from the start- breach position from the time I was 7 months pregnant and you never turned over once.


• You are a do-er not a follower. You walked at 8 months old and never did crawl. Just wasn't fast enough for you I guess.


• You have always been the best sleeper. From 2 months old you slept through the night and even now, you always sleep a solid 12 hours!


• We have always said that you have amazing dextarity with your tiny hands. You mastered some video games that your dad played by the time you were 3!!


• Your first words were 'hot' and 'cold'


• When you were 18 months, you used to love popcorn (still do!) and I used to find you sucking on the unpopped kernals. Must have loved the salt.


• You have always been very good at sharing the last of whatever food you might be eating. Your aunt Shannon was the one who, as far as I can tell is to thank for that. We were all at Grammy's house and Shannon asked if she could have your very last skittle (just to see if you would give it up) and you popped it right into your little mouth. She responded with a very sad face, and as quickly as that skittle went in, it came right back out. You felt bad and nothing Shannon could do would make you eat it!


• You must get your love of weapons from your dad. I found you once in my bathroom using my curling irons as guns.


• You have never been one to turn down a request for affection. Even in your moments to frustration or anger with mom or dad. You are such a lovebug, and I hope that never changes.

I love you Jayce Happy Birthday little man!

A Whale of tale

Lainy was divvying out the non existant baby whales she caught from the back of the church pew in front of us. We each carefully held them cupped in ours hands. 'One for you, one for me, two for you, and Oh! three for me!' She she proceeded to bring them toward her tiny mouth and I asked if she was kissing them. No, of course she was hugging them. She then kissed them, and I was told to do the same. It was now time to return them to their home, so I carefully placed them over the side of the bench into what I thought was the ocean... I looked at Lainy ever so carefully pouring hers back into their home, the little round plug in the back of the bench. Once she realized I had just tossed mine over the edge, she panicked and said a little too loudly, "you dumped yours on the floor?? (Although it was prounced 'flou') She scooped them all up and placed them in their proper home.

My personal infomercial

We love pancakes in my house, I make them at least 4 times a week. Jayce must have been dreaming he was eating something other than his grilled ham and cheese sandwich when he said this:

"Mom, you NEED the pancake puff pan. If you like pancakes, you'll love the pancake puff pan."

"They are so much easier than regular pancakes, you just pour them in the pan, and you take a stick, like a toothpick, but bigger, and flip them right over!"

I had never seen the advertisement before, but could tell he had seen it enough for the both of us. He went on, sensing I wasn't a believer quite yet.

"It's not just for pancakes, you can make cinnamon roll puffs, cake puffs, and even muffin puffs! And mom, all you have to do is push this little trigger and you can shoot butter or icing right inside! And you don't even have to take little bites, you can just pop them right in your mouth!"

The animation in his voice rivaled any informercial announcer I have heard.

You suck.

Jayce came to me in a bit of a panic a few weeks ago showing me his arm and asking what he could do to fix it. It only took a second for me to recognize the wound.

"Jayce did you suck on your arm?"

A grin slowly spread across that face. I held my composure and told him not to do it anymore. He seemed concerned that I never laughed at it, and asked later if he was going to die if he kept doing it.

Valor, Purity, and Justice

I LOVE the 4th of July. I love the excitment, the patriotism, and I love our country. We headed up to Payson this year to celebrate with a few friends.

The men got a game of football going, and the boys played catch, but also take a look at the sky...

They had three legged, crab, and sack races. Jayce found a buddy for the day and they had a great time. Again, the sky is still friendly...

Ahhh, the tug of war! This one was fun to watch. The kids were all pulling with all their little might, and yet when you look the officer in the picture, the kids look more like they are just kindof hanging on. The sky has begun to darken by this point. It was about this time in the afternoon that some of the kids from my ward recuited me into thier water fight... I was soaked before the rain even hit. And very very cold.

Can you see the little river of water behind Shelley and Jared? Glade so nicely pointed out as we rested in our little canopy, that we had a river headed stright for us... We of course picked up our already drenched belongings and everyone helped move us over out of water's way.

A few minutes later, as we all stood, since our chairs were all soaked, we noticed yet another small stream headed perpendicular to the first and yes, it was planning on intercepting our temporary place of residence yet again. We moved again.

At this point, I had succumed to the contstant "can we PLEASE play in the water mom?" and all three of my children were running gleefully through the water. So now, nearing 6 pm the rain was beginning to subside and we had 3 more hours, with no dry clothes, or even chairs to sit on, to wait for the fireworks. I threw in the soaking wet towel, we packed and went home.

We caught some fireworks from our porch and went to bed! Definitely a memorable 4th!

Back in the saddle again.

Even 5 days after returning home from girls camp I am still nearly dreading posting. I just haven't organized my thoughts enough to write them down. So, it will be a mess of information I assume.

Firm as the mountains around us

Oh to be a teenager again and feel like you are close to being firm as the mountains. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT want to be a teenager again. I had my fair share. But as an adult I have found that I am mature enough to realize just how far I am from being as firm as the mountains around me. It is daunting some days.

You know when you play things out in head before you doing something and expect it to turn out just so? And so I pictured my first experience as a leader at girls camp. Not quite what I have envisioned. What I had failed to put into my picture was that I am now 28 and not 15. I had rules to enforce (or break) an example to set, and girls to watch over.

I simply want to list the things that took place and maybe a little blurb about my personal experience with it:

Classes

• Writing - Plethora of info that I will continue to use on the years to come. Inspiring.
• Great people thru history
• Confidence
• Public Speaking - I could have used that as a teenager, better late than never.
• Hostess - They showed us how to throw a dinner party. SERIOUSLY?? Waste of my time.
• First aid - I ditched because I fell asleep in the class before it
• Archery - Very cool to watch the girls take something that seemed daunting to me and nearly master it.
• Scriptures - I missed half of it trying to round up my girls
• Night sky - star gazing, and again, I fell asleep. In my defense it was 10:30 pm by the time they started.
• Drama - LOVED this one. Denise taught it and my favorite was 'la la laing" Am I right Heather?

Several traditions I was unaware of:

• Singing Trees - Each ward finds a tree once it gets dark, and one by one each ward turns on their flashlights up towards the tops of the tree illuminating it and sweetly singing a hymn, and finishes by shutting off their flashlights and the next ward begins. Very serene moment.
• Weird camp songs - Boogaloo - Hey Burrito - Princess Pat - and whatever the food song was they they seemed to sing each and every morning before breakfast. Mash potato mash mash potato...
• The amazing food that caused me to gain 3 pounds even when hiking to and from a cabin on a hill each day.
• A CABIN to sleep in! That's a tradition I am in for!
• Buses to shuttle you to and from home. And watching a movie all the while!

Best thing(s) about camp-

• Heather
• Shantell
• Laura

I love my 4th year girls that I was a cabin mom to, and no one can top the girls from our ward, but I think the Lord wanted me to know I had friends. And these three women made this girls camp the most memorable for me. So, thank you.

Muddling

I thought this story was good enough that required a blog post out of it. Enjoy.

Muddling Along by Janene Wolsey Baadsgaard

Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you’d stayed in bed? I remember a day like that. The dishwasher had malfunctioned, flooding our house all night as we slept. We didn’t know until one of our sleepy-eyed children came into our bedroom early in the morning and said, “Mom and Dad! It’s raining in the basement!” The room that was hardest hit was the storage room where we’d recently carefully stacked and dated our pride and joy, a two-year supply of food. In a mad dash to save anything we could, every member of our family hauled each bucket and box out into the back yard to dry out. It took hours. Just when we finished, we heard a clap of thunder, looked up, and felt several drops splash in our eyes. Then the heavens were opened and the few drops immediately became a downpour. We regrouped and quickly hauled our soggy mess into the garage. When we finally got every box and bucket into the garage, my son came running to me in tears, informing me his pet rabbit was dead. After finally getting the children off to school, my daughter called from campus saying she couldn’t remember where she’d parked the car at college. Then my other first-grader had an accident that required a change of clothing. You get the picture. “I can’t handle any more,” I said to my husband.
“You don’t have to handle it,” my husband replied. “There’s no rule book somewhere that says you have to go through life handling everything. Just muddle, Jan. I’ve been muddling for years and no one can tell the difference.” Muddle, I thought. I think I can muddle. Now every time I’m feeling overwhelmed, I remember my husband’s timely advice. Frankly, I’ve been muddling ever since and so far no one can tell the difference, just like he promised. I remember a day when I walked into the kitchen to find my young son surrounded by the large white buckets where I stored our flour, sugar, and pasta. He was busy scooping— sugar into the flour—rice into the sugar—pasta into the rice. The whole kitchen looked like a white billowing cloud except for my son’s innocent grin and two large blue eyes staring up at me. “Look, Mom. I’m the bread maker!” my young son said as he looked up at me. Suddenly it dawned on me that whenever I made bread I pulled out all the white buckets and started scooping. He was trying to be like me. My feelings of frustration melted into love. I was so proud of him for trying. As we got busy cleaning the kitchen, I realized God loves us like that. No matter how big the mess or mistake we’ve made, God provides us with a Savior to help us clean it up. That is the essence of muddling. Muddling is not mediocrity. Muddling allows us to stop keeping up appearances or worrying that we’ll never measure up. Muddling is accepting our humanness and inadequacies. Muddling is realizing there are some messes only Christ can clean up. And muddling is seeing our worth through God’s eyes and never giving up hope that things will work out.

Organization is the key

I am in charge of organizing Jason's school life and homework so he just has to do it. Somehow, I managed to create more chaos than order this time. I didn't bother to go through his syllabus and read what book he actually needed. Just heard Jason say the name of it and ordered it online. Great! The book was ordered and would arrive in a few days. 2 weeks later... still no book. The girl calls and says the book got lost in the mail and for me to file a claim for it. I did so. And I ordered another one from another seller. In the meantime, the 'lost' book shows up on my porch. Sigh. As if that's not irratating enough. It's the wrong book. I had ordered the wrong book. Twice. Now, 4 weeks into the semester and Jason still with no book is passing the class somehow. I pull out all the paperwork from his teacher (finally) and look up the correct book and order yet again. All is well now, and silver lining- I put the incorrectly ordered books up on half.com and sold one already! I have certainly learned a valuable lesson. Pay attention. It pays off.

It's 105 and they are COLD??

It's getting pretty warm here in AZ and trying to keep the kids busy and out of the house is no small feat. So, we took the kids up the the mall to play on the splash pad to cool off and get some energy burnt off. They had a grand time trying to hold the water in the ground and getting soaked in the meantime.

If it's possible in 105 degree weather the kids got cold being so wet. So, we went to the playground next to the splash pad to play and let them dry off in the sun. Before long their shivers stopped and they jumped and climbed to their little hearts delight.

Lainy found this sign first. Nothing fancy, just the playground rules. She must have thought it was pretty special since I found her kissing it, and then as we examined a little closer, LICKING the sign. Ugh. Of course, like a lunatic I ran screaming to her trying to startle her enough to stop. Jared wanted in on the fun and began kissing the sign as well. What is so special about the stinkin sign??

Be good to your Daughters

So, obviously from my previous post you can tell it's been a rough week. I realize now that the storm has passed, how much of the problem was within me. Jason and I had some much needed quiet time together while the kids had a babysitter, and I had a chance to reflect on my parenting strategy as of late. I knew when I woke each morning in recent weeks, that my patience meter was running on low even before the mornings began, but somehow managed to convince myself that it was my children at fault for the way the day turned out.

I feel myself being pulled out of the impatience zone and slowly making my way back to the reality of good parenting. I told Jason tonight that I can tell the overall volume in my house gets louder when I choose to yell at the kids instead of assessing the problem. And I feel as though (and I sure you do too after reading so many posts about it) this is a revolving issue for me, and probably always will be.

Tonight I heard the song Daughters by John Mayer (check my playlist) and it hit me. This is not so much about me. This is so much about these amazing souls whose presence I been blessed with. They deserve the best of the best I can possibly give, each and every moment of each and every day. These are children who will be facing things in thier life that I can't even imagine facing. It is my job to help prepare them for it. Man, it's moments like these that I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father, it makes all of that reponsibility seem do-able and not quite so daunting, knowing you have someone like Him in control of things.

Today I am done.

I am done washing

I am done folding

I am done dusting

I am done scrubbing

I am done weaving

I am done coloring

I am done cutting

I am done styling

I am done screaming

I am done crying

I am done venting.

Mad hatter

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!

(this was in Primary when we sang to these two. I didn't realize that the birthday hats looked so much like the mad hatter!)

Moderation in all things

When they talk about having moderation in all things, they mean books for someone like me. THIS is why I don't read! Books like this one. It is phenomenal. And it comsumes me until every page has been devoured. (no pun intended with this particular book) Anyhow, 500 pages in a 24 hour period and you can imagine what my house and children look like. And of course there's a sequel.

Distracted

Completely engrossed in my current reading choice this morning (that I woke up at 5 am to read. Nice) I almost jumped in to save Lainy from her brother repeatedly smacking her on the head while walking in circles. As I yanked my brain back into reality, I watched for a moment and realized he was saying "dut (smack) dut (turn) dut (turn) dut (smack)" He never did get to goose, and Lainy never did seem to mind. I guess he learned something new in nursery this week.

Dye job

I thought it was time to vocalize my thoughts on my job as a hair dresser. I know my job includes so much vanity and is purly a voluntary non-necessity. But I love it. It has never been something I aspired to be, it kindof fell in my lap. I needed some schooling under my belt before a kid came along.

The best part of it all, is the blessings of friendship that came with it. Doing someone's hair for 2 hours gives you a lot of talk time. (I know a lot about a lot of people) I have met some really amazing (and interesting) people just because they needed to spice things up in the hair dept.

And all of this is done in the comfort of my own home. My grandma did hair in her back room when my dad was a kid. She was a single mom and did it for survival. I never dreamt that would be me someday. Although I don't do it for survival, it does come in handy when you need some extra dough. And when you are getting ready for church and realize your kids look like shag rugs.

As simple a profession that it is, I know it is something I am supposed to be doing, and there are open doors that exist in my life that would not have otherwise and life changing friendships.

What Disney Princess are you?

I am Pocahantas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Productive parenting

Why do we tell our kids not to fight with one another and yet we as adults have yet to learn the concept?

It's things like this that make me feel all the more inadaquate as a parent. What makes me qualified to teach a child something I have yet to master?

As I watched my children being disciplined for fighting this morning, it was if a light went on and the wheels started churning. We have to stop and regroup our parenting stradegies sometimes. I get in a groove where I find myself saying the same things over and over to my children in response to a bad behavior and of course, since I have to repeat it so many times, it's obviously not productive. I thought to myself, instead of just telling my kids to stop fighting, or yelling at them for yelling, I need to teach them that yes, it is ok to have an arguement or a disagreement with one another. Teach them the things I have learned in my own marrige. To fight fair and argue a true point.

I have realized watching my children and others with older kids, that this generation of parents has to be smarter. We have to be more creative and learn what our children are learning in order to be an effective parent. A swat or a 'go to your room, your grounded" just isn't going to cut it anymore.